The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

Write for Us
Want your voice to be heard? Submit a letter to the editor, send us an op-ed pitch or check out our open positions for the chance to be published by the Daily Utah Chronicle.
@TheChrony
Print Issues
Write for Us
Want your voice to be heard? Submit a letter to the editor, send us an op-ed pitch or check out our open positions for the chance to be published by the Daily Utah Chronicle.
@TheChrony
Print Issues

Students need to be aware of dangers associated with Spring Break stress

The U’s Center for Stress Control released a statement this week sympathizing with the many students overwhelmed with the stress of planning for Spring Break. According to Jane Oscar, the resident tranquility expert, there have been over 200 reports this week alone of students overcome with stress from planning their rigorous Spring Break activities.

Spring Break is historically a week of intensity which the academic world reveres and treats with great respect. The Spring Break Hall of Fame at the U is dedicated to honoring those students who go above and beyond expectations for their Spring Break activities. This is an honor coveted by a majority of students as it is an accolade which will guarantee any student’s future career and acceptance into a graduate school of their choice.

Two years ago, the Hall of Fame had one additional name added. Robert Bludodge, a senior studying the migration patterns of sorority members, had spent three years planning and perfecting the perfect Spring Break project. In order to raise funds, Bludodge spent several hours, even sacrificing classes, to petition potential sponsors living in houses valued over $300,000. He succeeded in raising the funds for his project, including a donation to him personally as an independent cash scholarship. His Spring Break project expanded upon his dedication to his focus of study. After a rigorous audition process, Bludodge selected a group of 40 sorority members and took them to a series of major cities throughout the country to observe where the members thrived the best. His study results concluded that the top three cities with the best desired results for sorority members were Las Vegas, Los Angeles and surprisingly, Branson, Mo. Bludodge was featured on several local and national publications, extolling his dedication and initiative to such a groundbreaking and involved academic study.

Unfortunately, however, this has set a very high expectation for other students who are hoping to win a spot in the Spring Break Hall of Fame. The candidate last year who received the most nominations was unable to receive her award as she was institutionalized for extreme PTSD due to the planning and events of their Spring Break project. Due to the dangers and overwhelming pressure students feel regarding their plans for this hallowed week, the Center for Stress Control has been working non-stop for the last month to set up tables and reach out to students to spread awareness of safety measures. Their well-known pamphlet, “So Your Spring Break Plans Are Causing Heart Palpitations,” educates students to take care of themselves while handling the stress.

Several professors have united in compassion towards their students and have set up the Professors for Spring Break Initiative. As part of this program, professors spend quality time as personal advisors with students who are able to confer with these respected instructors to receive guidance in planning their Spring Break Projects. This contributes to the slight alleviation of overwhelming stress felt by students, understood by the professors who have gone before them.

According to Gene Black, a member of this new initiative, “We professors remember our own extremely stressful Spring Break projects. Back then we did not have resources like the Initiative available to help us, and the demand for exceptional, revolutionary ideas has only increased. We hope to assist students so that they may succeed with their Spring Break experiences and, in turn, sufficiently manage their stress.”

This content is intended as fictionalized, satirical work. Events and ideas presented in this piece should be viewed as fictional.

[email protected]

Leave a Comment

Comments (0)

The Daily Utah Chronicle welcomes comments from our community. However, the Daily Utah Chronicle reserves the right to accept or deny user comments. A comment may be denied or removed if any of its content meets one or more of the following criteria: obscenity, profanity, racism, sexism, or hateful content; threats or encouragement of violent or illegal behavior; excessively long, off-topic or repetitive content; the use of threatening language or personal attacks against Chronicle members; posts violating copyright or trademark law; and advertisement or promotion of products, services, entities or individuals. Users who habitually post comments that must be removed may be blocked from commenting. In the case of duplicate or near-identical comments by the same user, only the first submission will be accepted. This includes comments posted across multiple articles. You can read more about our comment policy at https://dailyutahchronicle.com/comment-faqs/.
All The Daily Utah Chronicle Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *