There’s a mixed response when it comes to whether or not technology drives modern romance in our day and age. On one hand, apps like Tinder and websites like Match.com can connect individuals who would not normally have the opportunity. But technology can also allow us to become complacent in a relationship, since corporations are now making it increasingly easy to be in a relationship without putting in all the work. With the advent of websites and startup companies such as betterboyfriend.me, where men pay $70 for a creative, romantic gift that will be sent to their significant other each month, and Invisible Boyfriend, a company that creates and provides an ideal virtual partner to text you all day, technology is essentially setting people up for mindless, shallow (and, in some cases, imaginary) relationships.
First, the number of young adults using dating apps and websites has nearly tripled in the past few years, from 10 percent in 2013 to 27 percent today. Establishing relationships from a virtual origin point is normal, and there’s really no point in trying to debunk its budding promise as an avenue to find meaningful relationships. But companies like the ones mentioned earlier, which take relationships and remove all the real, personal and sometimes strenuous effort only serve to weaken connection in the long run.
Think of it this way — while some may believe that paying $70 to feign thoughtfulness for a significant other throughout the month is in fact putting in effort, there is absolutely nothing intimate about the exchange. Love becomes a business transaction. We as a society also push the notion that material gifts are more important than time spent together. Corporations who profit off of laziness can only do so much to preserve a spark between two individuals. Sooner or later, the “chocolates, tea sets and manicures” that are sent among a rotation of seven gifts to each girlfriend every month will get old, and no amount of money will be able to fix a lack of familiarity and affection that only comes with verbal and physical communication.
Dan Sullivan, the man behind the startup, works in finance and is currently profiting up to $17,000 a month from 350 boyfriends across the country using his service. He essentially makes money off of dying relationships and disintegrating intimacy. The fact that these sort of startups can even get off the ground says a lot about the dating culture we are currently nurturing.
We can not replace humanity with technology. We can not allow third party corporations to become intimate parts of our relationships. Creating these services and others perhaps more alarming, such as the one in which a virtual boyfriend is created, will undoubtedly negatively affect the psyche of anyone who uses them. Not only do they create unrealistic, unattainable expectations for the future — they also encourage individuals to rely on other people for their own emotional responsibilities. When we outsource our relationships, pretty soon there won’t be anything visceral left to love.