Ladies and gentlemen, I applaud you. Who better than you, the vibrant youth of a generation, to promote the voice of young America? My friends, you make a world of difference. You somehow know exactly what America is craving, and you write what the people want to read — a noble and challenging accomplishment. With every innovative article about the boy you dated in high school (and how you’ve since forgiven him for ditching you at the sophomore year homecoming dance), what it feels like to read about your sorority being verbally attacked online and the compilation of blurry pictures you took of that adorable Husky puppy on the quad, you are making an impact on the lives of millennials, one word at a time.
“Thoughts College Students Have When They See a Dog on Campus,” “Read This if You’re Convinced You’re the Girl They’ll Never Date” and “Stop Telling Me I Will Regret My Tattoo:” these three brilliantly titled articles (so full of wit and intrigue) have proven to be some of the most reality-shattering pieces of literature I have consumed thus far in my college career. Who wants to read a dated work like The Canterbury Tales when here, at my fingertips, lies the mind-blowing future of modern-day digital journalism?
While others may be looking down on your work, lumping your writing into a general category where the only audience is “basic white girls,” I implore you, earnest authors of open letters: do not give up. The haters are merely jealous, my friends, and you are the future, the voice of the people. I once read an article in which the word “then” was used in place of the comparative “than.” The annoyingly nerdy computer guy sitting next to me scoffed at the perceived mistake. While throwing daggers at him with my eyes, I reminded the imbecile that Shakespeare was considered the father of slang. Who are we to maintain outdated grammatical rules and regulations when we have made such leaps and bounds in other aspects of our lives?
It doesn’t matter that websites like The Odyssey and Elite Daily will pretty much publish any material under the sun. What matters is that you’re published.
Just think of how amazing it is going to be when you’re in your first job interview and the CEO is looking over your résumé and sees that you have, at your young age, already written a piece read by hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people! And when your potential future boss starts to skim over the copy of “Love: Is it Really Worth it, and When Will I Find it?” you so thoughtfully supplied for them during your interview for a PR position, you’ll be suppressing a smug smile, knowing that these credentials definitely have given you an edge over the other applicants.
So keep doing you, guys and gals, and inspire your fellow college-mates to go for the hottie that seems out of their league, take an absence to go white water rafting, and always appreciate those small moments because you only do college once. Thank you for your inspiring, world-enhancing words, messages and pictures: I truly don’t think I could make it through college without you.