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The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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Want your voice to be heard? Submit a letter to the editor, send us an op-ed pitch or check out our open positions for the chance to be published by the Daily Utah Chronicle.
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Satire: Search And Rescue Operation Begins On Campus

Inside of the LNCO, where most humanities courses at the University of Utah are located. Chronicle archives.
Inside of the LNCO, where most humanities courses at the University of Utah are located. Chronicle archives.

The U began a search and rescue operation today after a student has been reportedly missing within the depths of LNCO for 36 hours. The student, James McDougal, apparently entered the building Thursday afternoon and has not been seen since.

Susan McDougal, James’ mother, said that she received a text message from her son that night that said, “help, I’m lost in this janky-AF building. Please send rescue.” Since then, she hasn’t received any more messages. Search and rescue experts suspect that James McDougal’s phone has died.

The U is calling for able-bodied volunteers to gather outside the doors of LNCO. They are requesting  especially volunteers who have experience in navigating the treacherously confusing hallways of the Languange and Communications building.

This is the third such incident this semester. University administration is considering how to reduce that number, such as putting signs on all the doors of LNCO that warn students to only enter if they are accompanied by a friend who is familiar with the building or to leave a trail of bread crumbs behind them.

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