People always talk about changing the past. What would you change it if you could? Would you prevent all the horrible things in your life from happening? I was asked recently if I would change anything. Sure, there are things I wish didn’t happen. But I wouldn’t change them even if I could. Although I have some unpleasant memories, everything I once did makes me the person I am today. Those things, the mistakes and successes alike, give me perspective.
Everyone probably has moments in their life they wish they could redo, things they would change, but those changes would likely have a ripple effect. What if I were never bullied in high school and I wound up on a different path in college — or not at college at all? I certainly didn’t like being bullied, but I learned how to stand up for myself and how to communicate my wants and needs.
By going through difficult times, we are tested to see which way our lives will go. I can say that because I was bullied I developed an incredible determination to reach my goals. People have said I can’t achieve my dreams, so I’m actively proving them wrong. Now I have a life skill — determination and drive — that will help motivate me when I’m inevitably faced with tough decisions or the option to quit. Looking at the past in a negative light would never let me see the good that’s come out of my experiences.
Instead of looking back and saying “I wish I could change that,” look back to find something good that came from a trying period in your life. There is no problem in saying that something in your past sucked, but wishing it never happened is wasting energy. It is just a matter of perspective.
Instead of glaring at mistakes or events in the past, contemplate how they shaped you. You can learn a lot about yourself from examining the past. You can self-realize where you are strong and determine some weaknesses to watch out for in the future. Looking back and seeing a proud moment where against adversity you held your ground can remind you that you still have that strength. Reflecting and seeing mistakes can remind you that you have some things to work on.
There is also inspiration to be found in the past. Maybe you did screw up and things went wrong, let that be an inspiration to not mess up next time. Truly examine and question your past self. What motivated that earlier person? What scared them? The more you learn how you’ve changed the better your future will be because it is also our actions today that will determine who we are in the future. Having the right sort of perspective now can lead us to do things we won’t later regret.
So, study your past like a book. Learn what you can and use that knowledge to create an even better future.