As we grow up we make new friends or we try to cling to our old ones. Going through the drastic, stressful changes of life, we especially want someone familiar and loving around us. One of the most satisfying things about college is knowing that our best friend is going through the same struggles we are. Growing up also means we develop our own lives, however. We have jobs on top of classes and studying and the hardest thing is finding time for ourselves, let alone finding time for friends.
Even if your other half has some free time, they are not obligated to dedicate it to you. The most important thing for everyone is to take care of their health, including their mental health. If that means sacrificing socialization, it’s worth it to let them do that. Furthermore, you are also not obligated to sit around and wait for them to make time for you — that’s not healthy. A very important aspect of college is experiencing new things because they help us grow. While it may be insulting or upsetting when an old friend isn’t prioritizing you, it may also motivate you to try something new or talk to someone new yourself. Talk to your classmates and get to know them. Sharing a class and homework gives you something to bond over already. Remember, some people just aren’t meant to be friends forever. If you happen to grow apart, that’s okay as long as you continue to grow.
If you love each other and truly want to remain friends through these years of our metamorphosis, there are some things you can do to help. Talk on the phone once a week, or even once a month. Texting can be exhausting, so while you’re on the phone, catch up on everything you’ve been wanting to tell them. Also, figure out each other’s schedules and plan time to see each other. It doesn’t have to be very often, just occasionally. The “I’ll see you when I see you” attitude is how text messages and voicemails turn into silences. But try to be there for each other when you’re most needed. What are friends for if not to support each other under dire circumstances? Additionally, one of the easiest things you can do is to remember to get them presents for holidays and birthdays. It will make you feel close at the most important times of the year, and it will remind them that you love them. Most importantly, don’t push them. Just let them know you are there for them. Goodreads.com credits the quote, “Friends are like stars. You don’t always see them but you know they are there,” to Christy Evans. These words are important to remember, though one may be lonely.