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The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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Want your voice to be heard? Submit a letter to the editor, send us an op-ed pitch or check out our open positions for the chance to be published by the Daily Utah Chronicle.
@TheChrony
Print Issues

A Satirical Spring Break

Beachgoers+enjoying+the+beach.
Pixabay
Beachgoers enjoying the beach.

Spring break is for staying home with Netflix, talking to absolutely no one, eating snacks and occasionally going to work. Throw in some homework and a spa day, and you’ve had a spring break all of your friends will be jealous of, just like mine.

Day 1:

Spring break has officially started, but it’s Monday and somehow jobs can sniff out free time like dogs can peanut butter. So I worked six hours, went home and debated doing laundry. Instead of doing anything productive I watched Netflix — yay, spring break.

Day 2:

Normally I would work today, so I work today. A couple of coworkers and I listened to a really loud interview, wrote a blog post for the company, then went home. Once again, ignored the laundry. Spring break is no time for responsibility, but I felt bad for thinking that and cleaned the bathroom.

Day 3:

Wednesday workday, another day I don’t usually spend at work, but I’m shaking things up. Hopefully they don’t think I’m making this a habit. A coworker asked, “What are you doing here?” The day went on. Later that night I watched the television doctor commercials, cuddled with my cat and started reading “Deadly Decisions.”

Day 4:

I worked again, then sat completely still for several hours because the cat was being cute and I am unable to tell her no. I’m now questioning if there’s something in the air making her more cuddly than usual or if she’s plotting something and I should be worried. She has taken over the end of the bed, and it’s obvious the weather is going to warm up soon because she is shedding like it’s her job.

Day 5:

After work I discovered what my cat has been plotting — the takeover of my second dresser drawer. No sweater has been spared — cat hair is everywhere. Is it worth it to use the lint roller? I didn’t end up making that decision, but instead ended up running late to a hair appointment, which then ran late. I find I’m late more often than I’m not, but now it’s a character flaw and I don’t think I can change it if I tried.

Day 6:

It’s the weekend! No work, and nothing else, so I wrote out in English the essay I have to write for German. I plan to translate it later, because I am a procrastinator and can’t motivate myself to do it now.

Day 7:

Spent three agonizing hours translating an essay into German because it’s due tomorrow and I put it off. I am feeling some regret, but not a lot because I do this to myself regularly. Worked on other homework because I’ve put myself through too many late nights and too much debt to not graduate from college at this point.

A break from school is only a break if you spend it doing something you enjoy, be that staying at home with Netflix and your cat or exploring sunny southern Utah. Welcome back to class, and good luck with your finals and the next four weeks, everyone. 

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