The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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Write for Us
Want your voice to be heard? Submit a letter to the editor, send us an op-ed pitch or check out our open positions for the chance to be published by the Daily Utah Chronicle.
@TheChrony

Pro Tips – Back to School

Whether you’re an 18-year old freshman, or a sixth year Senior, it’s easy to get nervous about the first day of school. Will you find all your classes? Will the other students like you? Will you remember to wear pants? Well, have no fear. These tried and tested pro-tips will guarantee that you have an unforgettable first day of school.

  • You want to look good, but you also don’t want to look like a try-hard. Strike the middle ground by wearing what you slept in, and then class it up with a fedora.
  • It’s important to start your day off with a good breakfast of brain food. Lucky for you, Snider’s Meats is selling pig brain for only seven dollars a pound.
  • Make it a priority to get on your professors’ good side from the beginning so bring them a birthday cake and tell them they have gorgeous eyes.
  • It’s a bad idea to miss any important information on the first day, so bring an empty water bottle for any sudden and unexpected urges to urinate.
  • It will be helpful throughout the semester to have at least one friend in each class. Break the ice with your peers and show off your creative personality by asking original questions like “What’s your name” and “What’s your major?”
  • Don’t bring any supplies to class. Asking your classmate to borrow their pen is another great ice breaker.
  • If you’re in a smaller class that does a “Get to Know You” game, don’t miss this opportunity to find your soul mate by declaring your single status when it’s your turn to introduce yourself.
  • Don’t let anyone know that you spent the entire summer in your basement watching Netflix. If you have to, hire a professional to photoshop you into a picture of humanitarian workers in some third world country that you can show everyone.
  • There’s bound to be some start-of-semester parties that night. Find out where they are and make sure you’re there. And remember the manners your mom taught you: Take everything that’s offered to you.
  • It’s important to realize that you probably won’t do anything on the first day other than read the syllabus, which these days you can do at home on the computer, so the most important tip for the first day of school, is to not go to the first day of school.

 

 

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