A Delirious Manifesto On Ending the Cold Season

Ahh?November. It makes you think of turkeys, football and the first twinklings of Christmas lights. But to me, November brings to mind the sniffling, sneezy, stuffy-head, fever time. Yes, winter is coming and bringing lots and lots of germs with it.

If you watch any television news station, they will be running their, “Ways to Avoid the Flu” or, “The Right Way to Wash Away Germs” special features. They warn us of the upcoming flu season, practically begging us to get stuck with the flu shot needle. Maybe you should be paying attention.

I have noticed that since the weather started to turn cold, my classes are full of sniffling, sneezing students. It seems like everyone and their dog has acquired a cold?or worse. The thing that worries me is that everyone seems fine with this, like it is just the way it has to be. This is not the case.

Maybe I am ranting and raving because I am currently breathing through my mouth due to a plugged-up nose, and I have to take periodic breaks from typing for earth-shattering sneezes. Maybe it is just the Robitussen DM talking, but I think we can stop this.

We have got so much on our minds?school, social lives. But if you just stay aware of a few things, then maybe you’ll be able to avoid the stuffy-head hell I am currently living in.

The first thing that I have noticed is that you need to keep yourself warm. The author of seven books on health and wellness, Dr. Vogal says, “Being cold undermines your defenses, thereby opening the door to viruses.”

The daytime high temperatures as of late have been in the mid 30s to 40s. Yet as I trudge across campus, I have spotted dozens and dozens of you in T-shirts and sandals.

It’s cold outside everyone?deal with it! We’ve all been showing off our legs and other assets over the last six months, but now is the time to grab a puffy coat and bundle up.

It’s insane to dress like you did in July. You’ll only make yourself sick and then spread your germs to the rest of us.

If you don’t protect yourself from the cold, then protect yourself from germs. I see people all the time licking their fingers to pick up a Chrony or sucking on their fingers in heavy concentration during a test.

Next time you go to taste your own flesh, think about the last 10 things your hand touched and what could have touched that thing right before you did.

These thoughts should bring up lots of dreadful images, not just germs. Germs, however, are lurking everywhere, and you are literally feeding them to yourself when you put your hands in and on your mouth.

If you are one of those unfortunate enough to pick up a cold (I am raising my hand here?me, me!), then try to keep it to yourself. I too had the vigilante feeling that someone gave this to me, so now everyone must pay!

Once I settled down and the sinus-aid kicked in, I realized it is carelessness that spreads a lot of this stuff.

I admit that I have sneezed into my hands in class and not gotten up to wash them, but really, everyone should try and be a little more careful.

There is another thing that really irks me that I must comment on: For the love of all that is good and pure, would everyone stop sneezing into the courtesy phones?!

I can’t count how many times I’ve been waiting for a phone in OSH when the slob on the phone ahead of me lets rip a loud snot riddled sneeze right onto the receiver.

You know, everyone else has to use that same phone that is now covered with gunk and germs. It is totally disgusting?stop it!

If you are braver than I am, you can go and get the flu shot. More than 20 percent of the entire population develops a severe case of the flu every year. Eighty percent of flu-related illness can be prevented with one little stick of a needle.

I myself am too chicken to get the shot. Needles are scary. I am just hoping enough other people will get it, and no one will get the flu this year. I know, fat chance.

You should be smarter and braver than I am and go out and get the shot. Student health services provides the shots for students. Call 581-6431 for information.

I am beginning to feel like a mother or something right about now. I just want to help all of you U students avoid the mess I am in now.

I can’t breath, and thanks to a drug-related haze, I can’t really think either. So I am off to hunt down another cough drop and hide under my covers.

Let me know when it’s July again.

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