Woods’ Domination Spurs Jacket Color Change

By Elroy McChester, Comical Sports Writer

As if Masters wanna-be victors Retief Goosen, Ernie Els, Phil Mickleson and Vijay Singh weren’t annoyed enough to see golf supreme deity Tiger Woods overcome the pack to claim back-to-back Masters titles and the third of his career, they weren’t pleased to find what awaited Woods when he took the stroll to the clubhouse to don the famed green jacket.

Even though it was common knowledge to the gallery of upper-class, Caucasian Dockers-wearers that Woods was going to pull of the win at Augusta, the rest of the field of golfers were nonetheless bugged when the color of the traditional green jacket had been replaced by Woods’ vintage red, the color he wears on the last day of competitions.

Also included on the front of the jacket was the trademark swoosh symbol of Woods’ endorser, Nike, and on the back a full-length mural of Tiger’s face.

“I mean, we all know he’s going to win, but the organizers don’t have to make it so obvious,” said Singh, who tanked from -9 to -5 on the final day to eliminate himself from contention.

“If a 26-year-old continuously kicking your butt isn’t a big enough slap in the face, this has got to be it,” said fellow loser Jose Maria Olazabal, who finished in fourth at -7.

Masters officials justified the decision by saying in a release, “We figured Tiger would win at least 8 to 10 more of these things, so why deny this celebrity?”

“It makes sense. I know I’m not going to win one of the green jackets, or I guess I mean red jackets, because Tiger plays on a level I reach only when I’m dreaming,” said Utah native Jay Don Blake.

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