The Good, the Bad, and the @#$%

By and

For days I have been trying to write this column?days. Each day I put it off for the same reason: lack of motivation, or lack of inspiration, really. Basically I just don’t have anything to bitch about.

I like to bitch about things, but light things, you know. Contrary to what my column title may suggest, I am a very happy person. There are many benefits to being a happy person, yet not so many when it comes to required writing. At least in my opinion, tortured souls usually create the best stuff.

For instance, I am in a poetry class right now where we often have to write our own free verse poetry. I find this difficult, since the only times I have ever written any decent poetry were in my smoking-by-the-fire-because-my-boyfriend-just-left-me-for-Miss-Teen-California moments. So, taken with the beauty of this particular day, I ended up writing a poem about September and a corduroy couch. Pretty much a bunch of crap in the form of free verse.

Luckily, today I am in a hideous mood. I knew this was coming. When things are going well, there is usually only one way for them to follow and we all know it ain’t up. We watch news magazines and biography shows?notice any patterns? Just when so and so was on the top of the world, just when nothing could go wrong for so and so?well, we all know what happens then. They hit the bottom of the barrel with a thud of inevitability.

It’s hard to be an optimist in this world. Good times are temporary. You just got married, oh that’s cute! Hope you start putting whatever you can in your own name. You have a great job with a huge company? Sorry, your assets are worth about as much as a wad of toilet paper. I saw this with my own two eyes?you just overdosed on drugs and are close to death? Sorry, they don’t take your worthless insurance.

What’s worse is that the things that do give us even superficial pleasure are always bad. Smoking: That’ll kill you. Sex: Either end up pregnant, diseased, or with a bad reputation (unless of course you are male). Hell, you can’t even drink your sorrows away any more without ending up in a meeting. I can’t really say much on the behalf of hard-core drugs since I honestly haven’t done any, but I am beginning to wish they were legal.

The best things in life are free? Try telling that to the guy making minimum wage, walking his ass to work.

You know, I try to live by the motto that you have to experience the bad times to appreciate the good?which is true. People who have the most are the least likely to appreciate it, sure. Someone should add, though, that every happiness is diminished by the fact that something shitty is around the corner. Love turns to hate far more easily than hate turns to love.

My solution? We should all start to relish misery. Misery should become a good friend of ours. Why not?we will all meet him sooner or later. I am not even being sarcastic about this misery thing?I really think it is a good idea.

Perhaps it is better for us to come to the realization that most people aren’t very good; they are selfish and, when it comes down to it, don’t really respect most other people.

That way, we will be pleasantly surprised when we see people treat each other with dignity. If you start at the bottom, the only way to go is up.

Thanks for reading, guys, I feel better already.

Jennifer welcomes feedback at:

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