The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

Write for Us
Want your voice to be heard? Submit a letter to the editor, send us an op-ed pitch or check out our open positions for the chance to be published by the Daily Utah Chronicle.
Print Issues

students who think they know as much as we do: I’m a Smart Engineer

Disclaimer: The following article is published as part of our annual satirical April Fool’s Day issue. Please don’t believe any of it, and please don’t sue us. Thanks.Editor:

I am smarter than the people who work at The Chronic because I can do math. I’m an engineering major. And people who can do math can do anything. So I’m smart.

I am sick and tired of reading all of this liberal crap coming out of The Chronic. I have never read anything intelligent in The Chronic.


Ever. Ever. Not never.

The Chronic doesn’t represent the views of campus, which is largely made up of conservative jerks like me. I think it’s sick how you “establishment” students at The Chronic earn small portions of your tuition by selling your journalistic integrity.

And you’re stupid, too. None of you can write at all. It’s as though you’re a bunch of students, and your only goal is to get experience so you can go get other journalism jobs later. It’s like you’re not even professional journalists, and you’re just learning!

I’m so smart for pointing that out!

Look at BYU’s Daily Universe. That’s a good paper. They have these top-notch Associated Press writers who do most of their writing. Why can’t The Chronic do that?

Engineers are smarter than you. Because we can do math. That means we can do everything well. And it means we know more about politics and the liberalism you espouse than anyone else. Because we can do math.

Math is hard.

Earl Corblatt

Freshman, Electrical Engineering

Leave a Comment

Comments (0)

We welcome feedback and dialogue from our community. However, when necessary, The Daily Utah Chronicle reserves the right to remove user comments. Posts may be removed for any of the following reasons: • Comments on a post that do not relate to the subject matter of the story • The use of obscene, threatening, defamatory, or harassing language • Comments advocating illegal activity • Posts violating copyrights or trademarks • Advertisement or promotion of commercial products, services, entities, or individuals • Duplicative comments by the same user. In the case of identical comments only the first submission will be posted. Users who habitually post comments or content that must be removed can be blocked from the comment section.
All The Daily Utah Chronicle Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *