Police Report: Sex, drugs and magic markers


Three people witnessed a U Hospital employee masturbating at a nursing station desk on the third floor of the hospital. The people-a woman, her husband and her son-notified hospital security.

The man waived his Miranda rights to speak with Detective Jack Fermanian. Charges have not yet been filed.

Assault by urination

Salt Lake City Police dropped off an intoxicated man, who they believed was incapable of caring for himself, at the hospital for medical attention. The man didn’t want to stay, however, and began verbally abusing the staff. At one point, he purposely urinated on the floor.

Campus police were called, and one officer witnessed the man “taking a swing at a nurse,” according to Detective Mike McPharlin.

The officer arrested the man and drove him to jail. However, upon arriving at the jail, the man would not get out of the patrol car. Once the officer physically removed the man from the car, the man lay on the ground and would not get up.

Jail personnel came outside to assist the officer, and they ended up carrying the man into jail.

NoDoz and a black magic marker

A student created a parking permit using a NoDoz carton wrapper and a black magic marker. The fraudulent “A” permit, hanging in a car in the West stadium lot, was discovered by a Commuter Services employee and reported to police immediately.

The car was impounded and the owner was cited for theft of services, which is a class B misdemeanor.

Missing narcotics

An employee from the Office of the Medical Examiner called police to report that narcotics were missing from evidence lockers in the building.

According to Detective Mike McPharlin, some bodies brought to the examiner have narcotics inside coat or pants pockets. The narcotics are then secured in lockers for further investigation. McPharlin said the incident could be a mistake in records-someone may have turned in the evidence to police without recording the action. He also said an employee could be stealing the drugs.

The report did not indicate the amount or the type of narcotics missing, and a spokesperson from the medical examiner’s office was unwilling to comment.

Compiled by Cara Wieser