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The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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Hey Rocky, suck my exhaust fumes!

I’ve always been a fan of Salt Lake City mayor Rocky Anderson. His unabashed liberalism and minority stances have generally been a refreshing alternate to the one-party, one-voice mentality of most Utah politicians. He’s made Salt Lake City feel progressive and vibrant. Pet projects he supports, such as the summertime Twilight Concert Series at the Gallivan Center, have helped infuse the downtown social scene.

He’s taken some very controversial positions, including challenging the Salt Lake City Council’s questionable ethics in selling off a block of Main Street to the LDS Church. But he also has known when to concede on issues (like that one) when community harmony is what’s at stake.But in last week’s State of the City address, he managed to alienate the entire population of Davis County-a population that contributes millions of dollars to Salt Lake City businesses and tax coffers every year.

I have to ask, “Yo Rocky, what kind of mushrooms have you been eating, man?!And please, quit sniffing that glue.”

He said he welcomed “our neighbors to the north” but then launched into a self-righteous, holier-than-thou tirade about the fallacy of the Legacy Highway and how Davis County residents driving into his fair city pollute the air and poison unsuspecting Salt Lakers.

Huh? Come on, Rocky, get yourself a reality check. In a letter fired off to Anderson in response, newly elected Davis County Commissioner Alan Hansen brought out the very interesting fact that Salt Lake County has more than twice as many registered vehicles contributing to these ugly inversions than Davis County.

I guess Hansen doesn’t realize that all those Salt Lake City residents leave their vehicles in their driveways as they take mass transit or carpool in their hybrid Hondas.

Yeah, right.

My main question (coming from a truly pissed off Davis County resident who spends more time and money in Salt Lake City than his home) is this: Why aren’t local business owners upset at Rocky?

His villainously two-faced “come-spend-money-in-Salt-Lake-City-but-stay-the-hell-out-you-inhumane-fiends” statement will probably cost Salt Lake businesses thousands of dollars in the coming weeks.

I, for one, am going on a Salt Lake strike. Sure, I still have to commute to the city on an almost-daily basis, but for 10 days none of my money will be spent there.

When I gas up, it will be on my way out of Bountiful. Lunch?I’ll bring one from home (which will probably help my New Year’s weight-loss program as well).

Sure, it’ll be tough. If I want to see a movie, then I’ll have to go north to Layton-not to mention settling for crappy movie theater nachos for the same price as Brewvies’ beautifully loaded real deal-but that’s how insulted I am.

I challenge all Davis County residents to boycott Salt Lake City so Mayor Anderson will receive complaints from his voting and campaign-donating citizens.

I hope the area businesses voice their concerns about alienating a quarter of a million people who pour money into their establishments.

Of course, if Rocky would apologize, I’d call off my boycott. But I guess that’s just wishful thinking. It is winter, however.Perhaps temperatures will drop enough to bring a chilly wind that freezes hell.

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