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The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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My Two Cents: Major in common sense

So I’m reading this book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki and its pages are filled with talk of people receiving bachelor’s and master’s degrees to no avail, still ending up with mediocre jobs. Why is this?

Well, I haven’t advanced far enough in the book to find out yet. If I could take a guess, then it would be because beyond the rsum and how good a person appears to be on paper, employers still have to meet the actual individual.

After falling asleep in yet another lecture, I have dedicated this article to include the prerequisites to what I feel should be the newest major offered here on campus. Perhaps you have input as to what it should be called. I was leaning toward the “Common Sense” major myself.

How about those dumb online evaluations we have to fill out before we get our grades? Am I the only person who lies and lists that I spent more time studying for the class than I really did? It’s as if I think they’re going to make school harder if I tell them the truth. What’s that five to 10 hours? That was for just the week? I thought that was for the entire semester!

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is that though an economics professor may talk about the Phillip’s Curve all semester, the majority of students are going to forget about it after the break, especially one including a Fiesta Bowl. Is it possible for students to have a better attendance rate at the football games last semester than their own classes? I know I did (83 percent, including road games).

Here’s how we change things

So here in all its beauty is the first class offered in a quest to begin the course toward a degree honored by every company: Auto Shop 1100. Why did this stop with high school? Seriously, how many people (we’ll not classify by sex) can’t change a flat tire?

Then there’s Eating Etiquette 1500. Not only would the proper use of a napkin, number of chews before swallowing and talking with your mouth full be on the mid-term, but also anybody talking through a yawn would automatically fail. OK, maybe not fail, it’s just that’s it’s my biggest pet peeve next to CDs that skip and 21- to 23-year-old girls not existing on this campus.

I would normally demand that a course on dating be a prerequisite, but with the amount of advice listed in The Chrony lately, there seems to be little need.

Nevertheless, something of value that I have recently come to realize is that the less amount of attention you give a girl, the more attention she’ll give you. Don’t get me wrong, their presence must be acknowledged, but girls (and guys for that matter) always want what they can’t have.

Although there’s no way you could make it last for a semester (well maybe, they somehow managed to make archeology last), the last three courses to complete the major would be Responsibility 2300, Respect 3500 and finally, Growing Up 5550. I could surely use that last one, but so could a lot of people, namely professional athletes. Lately it seems that so many people are all about themselves that they even disclose their contributions for tsunami relief efforts to the media in an attempt to be recognized (for the wrong reasons) and improve their images. Though humility, respect and maturity are important attributes to acquire in college, I would think a lack of street smarts as opposed to character attributes would be most necessary in order to obtain the major, so maybe those last classes don’t belong.

Examples of those who would benefit

I often think of a high school friend now at an Ivy League college on academic scholarship when I think of those who could benefit from earning this hypothetical degree. While the kid managed to score a 34 on the ACT, he also managed to drive two miles with an entire gas pump still lodged into his tank. It was OK in the end; his dad is the president of Sinclair Oil. Then there’s my innocent little (5-feet-11 inches) mother not knowing how to log onto the Internet or telling me to meet her at Fred Meyer when she’s really at Meier & Frank.

The truth is we all lack in certain areas. If we copied down and studied notes when goofing up in life as furiously as we do the professor’s wack Power Point presentation, then perhaps we could carry more sense in our head and a more cents in our bank accounts.

So let’s push this through. The curriculum can be modified, just drop me a line and let me know of other ideas for classes. The main objective is that a BS degree in this major wouldn’t stand for what it really does with many others.

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