Feb. 2Wednesday
Calendar knows the truth about global warming: ever seen “Waterworld?” Filtering urine and avoiding pirates-that’s what the future holds. You better believe it-that was last Saturday night. Sub-Pop Records (The Shins, Iron & Wine, The Postal Service) signees The Thermals are at Kilby Court (741 S. 330 West) tonight at 7 p.m. Tickets are $6, and you can grab them from 24tix.com.
Drinks are culture-but what if culture were drinks? Take a slice of Fox News, salted with a dash of Wal-Mart and cap it with a swig of Toby Keith. What do you get? Well, besides a bad case of capitalism poisoning, an American Head Charge, who are (incidentally) playing with Otep tonight at The Circuit (7711 S. 700 West). Tickets are $18 and the show starts at 6 p.m.
Speaking of a hard knock of domestica to the dome…this whole Iraq thing is getting old. Let’s go somewhere else-we want to see the world, G. Tonight, George W. Bush announces the first pick of the 2nd Term USA Draft. No, not the selective service, silly. “Nation-building,” duh. Will we try to give Iran democracy…and Starbucks? Or maybe North Korea needs an Uncle Sam Spanking. Find out when the State of the Union address airs tonight at 7 p.m. on CBS, ABC, NBC and (insert every other propaganda outlet you can think of), broadcast straight from the Ministry of Truth!
Speaking of truth, calendar has a serious question: What, EXACTLY, goes on at sorority hazing/recruitment nights? We envision peach schnapps, drunken crocodiles, pillow fights and greek lingerie (the greeks have lingerie, right?). But then again, Calendar envisions lots of stuff these days-that’s why our shrink was able to buy himself that shiny new Porsche. Still, Calendar wonders…could our psychotic musings possibly be true? Could they? Tonight we stop wondering. Tonight we find out for real. Come find Calendar (disguised as the prettiest sorority girl you ever did see…with a grizzly events-listing beard) at tonight’s Delta Gamma Spring Recruitment Extravaganzaaaaaaaaa from 6 to 10 p.m. at the DG sorority house. A little birdie has told Calendar that something involving crashing balls and wayward pins might take place. Sorority bowling, anyone? ‘Strike’ is right. Then, when you’re tragically let down by the fact that sorority recruitment is much less like the steamy romance novel you had envisioned, and more like your little sisters gossip slumber parties, go drown your sorrows at either the Circle Lounge (328 S. State St.) with $3 beers and sake martinis, or at Salt Lake City’s most publicly accessible drunk tank, Port O’ Call (78 W. 400 S.), with $2.50 Big Ass Mugs.