Letter to the Editor: Thank goodness for nondescript white signs!

Editor:

I would like to thank whoever put those “Lesbians are real” signs all over campus.

My mother had always taught me to throw eggs at gay people, but I haven’t been able to find any. I was beginning to doubt if they really existed. My mom was wrong about the Rapture coming in 2000. She was wrong about WMDs in Iraq. She was wrong about God giving Pat Buchanan the presidency in ’04.

But after reading those white signs, I realized that members of the LGBT community are real. I still don’t know anything about them or what they’d like to achieve, but at least my mom was right about one thing.

Earl Deveroux

Freshmen, Agriculture

Disclaimer: The above article is part The Chronicle’s annual April Fool’s Day issue. All events are fictional and plots are satirical…in other words, all of this is completely made up. So don’t call your lawyers.