April 5

Tuesday

Calendar’s Uncle Stoober was a hippie-a legitimate, protesting, Vietnam-era, bra-burning, whirlwind freak of nature who toured with the Grateful Dead.

So when he hears that a band like Moe (read: jam band) is coming to play Suede (1612 Ute Blvd. at Kimball Junction) tonight, the crotchety old burn-out starts going off on some nonsense about ‘fundamental psychedelia’ and how we’ll never hear ‘the stampede of revolutionary rollie-pollies’ quite like he did in his ‘hey-heyday.’ The lesson? Prolonged LSD use is, contrary to Uncle Stoober’s notions, underrated and outdated. Tickets to Moe are $22 from Smith’sTix, doors open at 7 p.m. 21 and older, and beware the Blue Meanies.

Of course, those who fail to heed our warnings on the Blue Meanies will end up in one of two places: either (A) wandering around in a snow pack near the peak of any of the mountains surrounding the Wasatch Front in only their skivvies and a pink fedora, or (B) working for A&E, either of which will eventually land you in the back of an ambulance sometime in the near future. Get a head start by rushing to catch the last Ambulance LTD tonight at Shaggy’s Velvet Room (155 W. 200 South): So-Cal sun-drenched indie-pop via New York City hipsterism, stat! Doors at 7:30 p.m., tickets are $12 from Smith’sTix. 21 and older.

Whenever Calendar hears the word ‘Bane,’ we think of ‘Oprah Winfrey,’ as in, ‘Bane of our existence.’ Some people think of the mall-core punk band playing tonight at In The Venue (219 S. 600 West) with Comeback Kid, Silent Drive and With Honor, to which we say: touch. Tickets are $12 from Smith’sTix (whose incessant ‘service charges’ are the Bane of concertgoers throughout the greater Salt Lake area), doors open at 6:30 p.m.