Do Nice Guys Know What Cool Really Is?

By By [email protected]

By [email protected]

Danni Nutter’s response to “George Costanza” in her column on April 6th was a thoughtful reply to a frequent problem. I would like to offer some additional insight that may also help “George” and others like him. First, realize that not all women desire what they can’t have or what is unattainable if that definition is given as “cool” men who treat women badly. This means that there are going to be women who are magnetically attracted to “nice guys.” Sure, it might be said that these women aren’t going to be in everyone’s classification of “cool,” but that is my next point. In his question to Danni, George says he cannot understand why the “cool” object of his affection is seeking a guy who treats her “like crap.” Perhaps what should to be asked is not why this woman is attracted to and seeks destructive men, but why George is attracted to and seeks destructive women. Isn’t she just another version of the crappy choice, this time for “nice guys?” The problem is this definition of “cool.” What “cool” is will vary from person to person, but more often than not, people who have a problem with the way “cool” women treat “nice guys” (or vise versa) are blinded by their limited definition of “cool” and fail to see truly wonderful people. I am not suggesting that standards should be lowered. I am suggesting that hearts and minds should be opened further. When others are viewed in terms of who they are and the feelings they return, regardless of whether they fit some media-frenzied conception of beautiful or handsome, it becomes possible for deep and abiding relationships to begin and true coolness to be revealed. Therefore, enlarge your definition of “cool” to include other possibilities. After a while it will be hard to understand how those who lacked appreciation ever held a candle to the new “cool” people in your life.

Brett [email protected]