Props to UPC-even with the Zoobies

Last Saturday was the Union Programming Council’s trial run of a campuswide award ceremony, “Props to U.” It was UPC’s first try at such a ceremony, and things didn’t go so smoothly.

Those of us in the audience were test subjects, like bunnies forced to wear mascara for the good of future Maybelline consumers. We were alternately confused and pained.

Questions ran through my mind such as “What am I doing here?” and “Why are they doing this to me?” And as the kid next to me blurted out, “Who the f*** doesn’t know who Andrew Bogut is?”

In planning this event, UPC forgot two of the most important rules in event organizing. Never hire someone to host an award ceremony if his or her only claim-to-fame is appearing on a reality TV show. And never hire someone who attends BYU.

Morgan and Gary, stars of MTV’s “Laguna Beach,” unfortunately fell under both categories.

Speaking proved to be far too great a challenge for this dynamic duo. The pronunciation of really tough names such as “Christina” and “Holiday” were routinely butchered, not to mention the last name of All-American Andrew Bogut.

Morgan and Gary struggled to say the word “simultaneously,” so forget about them pronouncing the names of Ali Hasnain (future student body president) and Ibrahim Karawan (director of renowned Middle East Studies department) correctly.

All joking aside, the first annual “Props to U” was a fun event. There were two really great bands, jugglers, trophies and virgin margaritas.

Good times were had by all, despite the fact that the hosts mixed up Professor of the Year award with TA of the Year award and nearly left Most Punctual Student Leader off the program entirely.

Event organizers say their main goal was to get a tradition started. From the looks of things, they succeeded. “Props to U” has the potential of being something really great. Next year, however, if organizers are unable to get 150 people in attendance and at least half of those who won an award to show up, they’ll need to take the award show out behind the barn and put it out of its misery.

Sometimes great ideas just don’t pan out, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t great ideas. You just can’t force some U students to spend one more mili-second on campus than they absolutely have to.

The mad dash to create “community” at this commuter school has got to stop. While it is important to endow students with a sense of belonging and pride, student leaders and administrators need to quit throwing everything they’ve got at the evil commuter spirit with little regard for what works and what’s just a waste of money.

Next year, UPC should spend less time finding “famous” hosts and more time on advertising. The bands were really cool and I wish more people could have heard them.

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