Blister in the Calendar

April 26

Tuesday

Calendar remembers those kids in high school who played those RPG games like D & D really well…especially in the instances we made them breathe newly applied bleach to the bottom of a freshly cleaned locker room trash can. But of course, what goes around comes around, and after a Level-12 Mage showed up on our doorstep and turned our house into a fire-breathing death gnome with an MP-8 spell, we’re keeping our distance. RPG and Thunderfist play Burt’s Tiki Lounge (726 S. State) tonight at 8 p.m. Tickets at the door; 21 and older.

Salt Lake City’s legendary Kilby Court (741 S. 330 West) is on the verge of closing. Pretty soon, the only place in town where “performance art” stands for more than some art-school dropout pouring embalming fluid over a toaster will be no more. Come see any one of the semi-anonymous acts of indie-rock greatness play tonight with M. Ward plays Kilby Court with Norfolk and Western at 7 p.m. Tickets are $10 at the door.

The Trevor Price Band plays Liquid Joe’s tonight at 8:30 p.m. Tickets at the door, 21 and older. And what kind of price would we pay to be named ‘Trevor Price?’ R-h-e-t-o-r-i-c-a-l q-u-e-s-t-i-o-n…

Are you a white male? Then guess what: You’re privileged! Apparently, all of those years of discrimination and giving every other race, sex and culture a good ol’ kick-in-the-Darwin falls on you, the White Males of yesterday, today, and tomorrow any way it lands. Or at least that’s how the Women’s Resource Center (Union Room 293), who’ll be hosting the Social Justice Allies: White Males Serving As Allies lecture today from 12-1 p.m. happen to see it. Privileged? At least you weren’t lead on to believe after years and years that the “Big Feet” thing was true! Imagine being born in a 13 and barely hitting 7 and ! Privileged! Ha!

And while we’re making cracks about phallic deprivation, The ASUU Presenter’s Office’s final party of the year, The Grand Kerfuffle goes down today from 11 a.m.-11 p.m! No, we’re not referring to certain ASUU politicos-“phallic” and “depraved” don’t even begin to describe it, God no. We’re talking about the Violent Femmes, best known for their ode to, uh, masturbation, “Blister In The Sun,” who’ll be headlining The Grand Kerfuffle after a day of music, vendors, food, art displays and the like. Good thing the Grand Kerfuffle is F-R-E-E, because…wait a second. Calendar senses a pattern. Free ASUU Party. Violent Femmes. “Blister In The Sun.” Indulgent self-accolading…so that’s what a “Grand Kerfuffle” is! Just keep it out of Calendar’s hair-we hear after a year-long build up like this, it’s really a mess to clean up.