“Are you dating someone?”
We’ve all been asked this question. The once-standard greeting, “How are you?” has become “How are you-are you dating someone?”
Here’s the real kicker: Your response triggers either a pleased, “That’s great!” or a sympathetic, “Well, you’ll find someone,” as though your biggest concern at this point of your life should be getting a girlfriend/boyfriend.
When I was in middle school, my mom used the line, “You’ll never get a boyfriend if you?” to get me to stop doing things she didn’t like, such as popping my knuckles. Sometimes she’d use it to get me to do things she didn’t want to do, such as ironing shirts-“Alicia, you’ll never get a boyfriend if you don’t iron your shirts.”
That line was like a threat that I’d stay single for the rest of my life if I didn’t do what she said. To this day, I iron my shirts, but at least now it’s because I like to iron.
But this threat has morphed into our self-inflicted status obsession: Single vs. Not.
The other day, my roommate came home fuming. “Guess who I ran into? Angela from high school, and the first thing she asked me was, ‘Are you dating someone?’
“And I thought, well, I’ve almost completed a degree in chemistry, and I have several interesting jobs, but yes-I am ‘dating someone.'”
I nodded sympathetically as Jaynie continued. “And then Angela told me she has been dating Brian from high school since January.”
I stopped what I was doing and turned around-“Angela is dating someone?”
The fact is, we all act as though someone’s romantic status is more important than what he or she is doing professionally, academically or in any other aspect of life. The question becomes, how do we stop it?
Not only has dating become part of our public life, but it has also become a sort of social status symbol. Case in point: Have you noticed that acquaintances, and even strangers, drop the title “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” into conversation almost every chance they get? A complete stranger recently remarked to me in the supermarket aisle, “My boyfriend and I always buy that kind of beer.”
Good to know.
It’s as if people are trying to flaunt the fact that they regularly have a date for Friday night or that someone finds them desirable. It has become such an important social marker that even mere strangers should be informed of the fact that yes, you are taken.
Dating someone also opens up a whole new social club, the obvious being couples’ parties and double dating. But being in a couple has now even claimed baked goods.
The other day I saw a Pillsbury commercial introducing a new packaging scheme: biscuits that come in pairs. The commercial showed a couple laughing in the park, with the announcer declaring, “All good things come in pairs.”
So, not only do we care whether people are together, but biscuits now, too?
Frankly, I’m not sure which is worse-thinking that someone else cares if we’re in a relationship or someone else actually caring if we are.
For now, though, ignore advice telling you how to “catch” someone. If you want to stop popping your knuckles, do it because it sounds gross and it could give you arthritis.