Dear Jennilyn,
I like to party, and last month, one of my “friends” and I got toasted and had sex. It happens. She called me a few weeks later and told me ?that she has chlamydia. She doesn’t know when and from whom she got it. I was pissed. I’ve slept with about three people since then and I’m afraid that 1) I ?have chlamydia, 2) I have it and have transmitted it to others and 3) that I have other STDs that I didn’t know about. This is a sh***y situation. What ?do I do? Should I stop having sex? I would call the other ladies, but I ?don’t even have names. As a precaution, I shaved my pubic hair, which I ?figure should help. I’ve also started using condoms. Any advice you have would help me out-the weekend’s coming.
Dear Party Boy:
Glad to hear you’ve befriended condoms, if not the girls you’re sleeping with. It doesn’t sound as though you’re quite ready for last names or phone numbers. I hear Franklin Covey makes a great little black book for first names only.
Of course, the one-night stand is all about fooling around in the dark, but then you’re left in the dark. If you don’t want to inquire about girls’ names, sexual diseases or views on Iraq, you should plan on using the Trojans. Always keep your soldiers tucked safely inside the horse.
As you’ve learned, sleeping around is risky. Sex is like a family tree-eventually everyone is related. Some relatives we’d rather forget, but it helps to know that uncle Billy, besides having a fondness for Swedish hookers, has a history of heart disease. It pays to keep in touch with your roots.
And now you’re part of your partners’ sexual histories, whether they are short stories or Russian novels. Sometimes a bibliography is not a bad idea. If you can’t find the girls you’ve slept with, chances are they can’t find you, either. And they may have something to tell you.
It’s time to do a little detective work. First, though it may feel uncomfortable, you need to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. If you don’t have health insurance, Planned Parenthood is a good place to seek help. There are also government agencies that offer free AIDS testing the first Monday of the month. Visit www.health.utah.gov/cdc/hiv_testing.htm#freetest for more information.
If you have had or are having unprotected sex, you should get regular STD check-ups. The problem is that many people can be carriers of STDs without showing symptoms. This is especially true of men. Male STD testing is not extremely reliable, either. So, even if you start asking for pet names and sexual histories, the information will not guarantee you safe passage.
Getting cozy with the prophylactics is a good start, but sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut. STDs can also be transmitted through oral sex and skin-to-skin contact. STDs can be passed even when there are no symptoms. Check out the STD facts online. Here are two good Web sites:
www.etharc.org/faq/faqstd.htm
www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/drk/std prevention7.asp.
The metrosexual movement may have made shaving the junk a hot ticket to size enhancement and easy access and it may help if you have lice, but it WILL NOT prevent STDs.
Your best step is to get tested. Untreated STDs can lead to serious health problems and infertility. But even if you test negative for STDs, you’ve probably been exposed to chlamydia and may carry it. You need to alert everyone you’ve been with since your “friend.”
Did I mention wearing condoms?
Chlamydia is the fastest growing STD in the United States, with 4 million new cases a year. Genital herpes is also spreading rapidly among young people. It’s time to start talking to girls, even if you don’t put their numbers in your palm pilot. If you want to maintain the “casual” in casual sex, then take some simple precautions and communicate.
Sometimes safety just requires some creativity. Buy flavored condoms. Oral sex is not the new safe sex-it’s the new virginity. Save something for the honeymoon or the live-in lover your parents disapprove of.
Abstinence may not be your style, but if you’re going to be sexually active, remember that it always involves a risk. There is no safe sex unless you’re taking yourself out on a date. It’s cheap and a good way to find out if you’re easy.
At least you’ll be with someone who knows how to spell your last name.