Police report:

By By Ana Breton

By Ana Breton

Ex-wife, current stalkerOct. 26A U employee reported that his soon-to-be ex-wife repeatedly called him at work and at home after he asked her to stop.

Drunken NightsOct. 27After being kicked out of Crimson Nights activities twice and still not getting the hint, a student was arrested for intoxication.

A biting argumentOct. 28A couple was arguing at a football game to the point that the man bit the woman’s face. The police arrested the man and booked him in jail.

Drunk and in dragOct. 28Police officers found that a man was intoxicated at a football game after they noticed he was dressed as a woman in 4-inch heels.A police officer took him into custody and drove him to the local detox center so he could sleep off the alcohol. The detox center refused the man because of concerns that the man’s attire would garner him unwanted attention.While officers were making this decision, the man fell off the bench he was sitting on and hit his head on the concrete floor. The officer took the man to University Hospital, where he was placed in an examination room. The man then fell off the gurney on which he was seated. This time, the officer tried to stop the fall but only managed to buffer the fall with her own body. The man still managed to hit his head on a wall as he fell onto the officer. He was eventually left to the care of the emergency room staff.

SpongeBob NoPantsOct. 28Police were called after a man in a SpongeBob SquarePants costume exposed himself in front of people in the Guardsman Way parking lot before a football game. The officers eventually found the man and cited him for lewdness and intoxication. He was released to the care of a friend.

Planning aheadNov. 7A woman reported her day planner was stolen from a gym bag she had placed on a counter in the Field House. The day planner contained three checkbooks, a UCard and other property.

Mail mishapNov. 8A student reported that a package delivered to the Heritage Center mailroom was stolen before he could pick it up.

Cheater cheaterNov. 8A teaching assistant caught a man trying to steal a test for a chemistry class. The TA grabbed the would-be thief, but lost his grip. The suspect dropped the test and ran away.