Campaign promises are annoying

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My absolute favorite time of the year has arrived! The snow is melting (sort of), the birds are chirping and the campaign billboards are blooming all over campus just like the spring flowers. As I bike to each of my classes, my eyes are filled with the colorful signs posted by our esteemed candidates that are running for student body positions. There is one poster, and consequentially a series of posters, that has caught my eye. Those are the orange placards of the More 4 U Party. We’ll just ignore the grammatical idiocy of that slogan for the sake of time.

Looking upon these beacons of politics, I can’t decide if I feel a seizure or vomit overcoming me, but it certainly isn’t the urge to vote. But again, putting the appearance aside for time’s sake, I notice the seemingly beautiful promises that are so proudly displayed on these eye cancer-causing boards. Underground parking under Presidents’ Circle? More child care?! FREE study abroad and scholarships?!?

Wow! Do you remember back in the days of high school when the student body president would promise things like new vending machines that dispensed beer or “you-don’t-have-to-go-to-school-on-your-birthday” initiatives, and they never happened? That is exactly what will happen with these “promises.” But, being the pessimist that I am, I may be wrong.

How do they expect to pay for these things? Magic? No. Fee increases, tuition hikes and other taxes will be forced upon you to pay for these “great ideas.” Now, I know what you are thinking: “Maybe the Legislature will allocate state funds for it!”

Remember that one time that the Marriott Library was deemed unsafe in an earthquake? Yeah, they had to fight tooth and nail for that, so what makes you think that they will pay for more parking when they just installed a TRAX line going right to the heart of campus? Stop insulting my intelligence with these fake promises and quit threatening to take my money for your popularity contest. I can hardly afford food as is.

Cameron Sheya Senior, Geology