Jeremy Finkel rides the TRAX commuter rail several times a day, but he isn’t a commuter. The moment he steps onto a train, he is at work.
Finkel’s unique job at the Utah Transit Authority is to monitor the trains on a daily basis and to find new ways to improve service. But he isn’t concerned with timetables or the frequency of stops. He has his eyes on the passengers.
“Basically, I’m tasked with making TRAX a pleasant experience from a social and aesthetic perspective,” he said. “I choose soothing colors for the seats and I made sure the windows on the new cars were wider and let in more light than before. I want to make the average commuter enjoy their stay on TRAX, no matter how bad their job may be. I want TRAX to be a positive experience people can look forward to.”
Finkel spends his days recording and collating thousands of bits of data from the tendency of males to give up their seats to females during rush hour to the probability of a given passenger being so fat they take up two seats. His trickiest problem came from what he calls “the eye dilemma.”
“There was this young man ogling the large, fuselage-shaped breasts of the young lady opposite him, and she didn’t notice because she was looking out the window. When she turned back, he abruptly shifted his gaze away and ended up staring straight at the butt of the man standing next to his seat like a bloodhound. He looked like a creep either way. It screwed up the ‘chi’ of the train for at least 15 minutes. Very, very awkward,” Finkel said.
“People on TRAX can’t talk to one another and they can’t look at one another. In fact, acknowledging the existence of another human being on TRAX is something of a social taboo. I’ve had to work around that, which is difficult,” Finkel said.
Though Apple’s iPod cancels any possibility of speaking with other forms of life outside one’s social circle, the problem of diverting one’s eyes remains a challenge for passengers and social planners alike.
The solution to this problem is art, Finkel said.
“I can spend a long time looking at a painting and the longer I stare at it the more interesting it becomes. I think what would work best for TRAX is if every surface were plastered with art of some kind. That way, you don’t look like an idiot when you stare at the floor — no, you’re deep in concentration, picking out the different subjects of ‘The School of Athens.’ And it will help the weaker-willed among us resist the allure of the fairer sex.”
Finkel has purchased prints of famous paintings by the truckload and has commissioned several local artists to pump out original works on a large scale. “We’ll basically take anything short of s**t on the Virgin Mary at this point,” Finkel said, referring to the avant-garde Neo-Dadaist work by Claude Lemonnaire “Le Mary du Chocolate.”
“Then again,” Finkel continued, “if we have some more space to fill at the end of the project, who knows.”
Some subjects, space concerns aside, remain strictly off-limits.
“We had one artist who wanted to paint an erotic scene across the entirety of the train car. His plans were tasteful and he certainly had talent, but I don’t think that’s something I can justify to the board of directors. And plus, it would destroy my efforts if we had to cram a train full of strangers together in close proximity and then paint the walls with pornographic imagery. That’s a transient’s job.”
Despite the novelty of his idea and the lack of precedent elsewhere, Finkel is confident of success.
“Turning TRAX into an art gallery will make it a lot easier to avoid that awkward human contact we’ve had such a problem with in the past. I think people are going to love it!”