Sibling rivalry

TCU gets on my nerves. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

TCU has painfully overshadowed other Mountain West Conference teams since arriving on the scene in 2005 — particularly in football.

Being a Utah fan and thinking about TCU is a bit like being an older brother who is making the transition from his junior to his senior year of high school. It’s finally big brother’s turn to star on the football team, be able to sluff classes without much friction and be the big man on campus. The only problem is that once big brother’s chance finally came, little brother’s voice stops cracking, he grows 6 inches over the summer and develops a tight spiralling 65-yard football arm.

On top of everything, he swoops in, steals big brother’s girlfriend — better known as the MWC Championship trophy — and everyone in high school gives him the pass of being the best thing since Urban Meyer.

When Utah football experienced the fruits of 2004, it looked to be the start to years of being the “big man” in the Mountain West Conference. Then the Mountain West Conference adopted TCU and it’s been nothing but envy and irritation for Utah ever since.

So, forgive Utah for not forgetting Sept. 15, 2005, the day TCU snapped Utah’s 18-game winning streak and utterly ruined what was supposed to be a great sequel to our 2004 season. Forgive the Utes if they haven’t forgotten the class-A misdemeanor assault (in the form of a pass interference) in the end zone that went unprosecuted by those Lone Star State sheriffs the MWC called “referees” on that fateful afternoon.

It’s not that we loathe you like our crosstown rival BYU, either. We actually appreciate having a team with Texas roots in the family. It helps recruiting, it helps exposure and above all it has helped solidify our conference. Yeah, sometimes we forget that you make up the ninth member of the conference and are backed by the largest metropolitan area in the country, but it’s not out of disrespect. Take it as a compliment that we want our football team to make your team look like a Barney costume that’s been thrown into a cage of hungry jaguars.

It’s partially because we feel threatened that you’ve become such a capable conference opponent in so little time. That’s right. We’re still bitter about having our girlfriend stolen right before our eyes with only one short little dinner date. It took us more than 42 years to get a one-on-one date with a conference championship and here comes TCU and it’s love at first sight.

So, while we appreciate the fact that you’ve helped calcify our conference, we’ll take no greater satisfaction — with possibly the exception of BYU — than having our team kick your team’s ass tonight. If for some reason we don’t win tonight, make sure BYU doesn’t get anywhere near our girl. In the past, conference trophies tend to get locked into long-term relationships with those Mormon boys if everyone else isn’t careful.

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