Advice: Call Clayton already and quit stringing him along

By Alexandra Gregory and Clayton Norlen

Dear He Says, She Says,

I’m a college-aged girl from out of town who has been having trouble meeting people ever since graduating from the U a month ago. Where is a good place to make friends around my own age?

Sincerely,Amanda Hugnkiss

Dear Hugnkiss,

He says: Well, I’m single. If you’re interested, I’m the guy next to Ally in the picture. You’ve got our e-mail addresses, so let me know.

She says: Well, this depends on who you want to meet. If it’s a future husband you’re after, try Temple Square on a Sunday morning.

If it’s fixed-gear bike kids in form-fitting denim and dangerously low V-neck shirts, then hang out downtown on 300 South. It’s the new trendy hipster hangout. If you get bored with 300 South (although last I check there was a giant UFO taking up a parking space, and that’s anything but boring), hop on over to the bars to mingle with the rest of us Utah outcasts.

Oh, and I work with this really cute guy with long hair and a geekish stare — the cute kind.

Whatever you choose, or whoever you choose, just remember that there hasn’t been a documented case of syphilis in Utah for years. YEARS.

Dear He Says, She Says,

I casually date. I might even say I “pretend” to like guys. Now I’m in a weird situation — half the guys I’ve been stringing have cut me from their lives, and the other half are getting really attached. I’m hurt from the boys that don’t like me anymore, and I’m backing away from the ones that do. Should I just pick one?

Sincerely,Cold Feet

Dear Cold Feet,

She says: I’m going to bypass the fact that you haven’t been truthful with your boys and go straight to the fact that you probably aren’t being honest with yourself. It’s interesting that you picked some guys who shrug you off and some who only want to snuggle up closer to you. Are you picking and choosing the qualities you want from multiple guys to create a cohesive Mr. Ideal? I suggest taking a hint from the first batch of boys and stepping away from the current situation. Take some time for yourself — you deserve it. Hey, maybe you and Miss Hugnkiss can get together for some bra-burning girl-girl bonding time.

He says: Well, you need to figure something out, that’s for sure. I’m not going to tell you to get into a relationship — only you can make that decision. The best advice I can give you is to slow the dating game down. Instead of keeping a list of 20 potential BF’s running through your head, narrow it down to a solid three.

Dear He Says, She Says:

I can’t believe I’m about to ask this question? Anyway, I’m tired of sex and my girlfriend wants it all the time. Sometimes I just want to watch TV or read the paper. How do I break the news to her? Part of me is worried she’d leave me if I told her.

Sincerely,Dick in a Box

Dear Dick,

She says: Your boredom with sex is likely stemming from a glitch in another part of the relationship. You could try counseling, or new positions. I hear rolling luggage carriers can really spice up a romantic night’s stay in a hotel.

He says: Wow, I really don’t know what to say, Dick. There’s a Weezer song that addresses this problem, so maybe you should buy a copy of Pinkerton. Or — and I know this is scary — you could talk openly with your girlfriend like an adult.

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