With Presidents Day behind us, and the long stretch of calendar days before St. Patrick’s sprawled out ahead, there is not much to do but worry.
Whether it’s school, money, work or failing to meet the terms of your probation, your mind must be humming with the concerns of the everyday. However, like a British dentist, I am here to help you delve deep into the nasty little root of your problem.
Dear Gabi,
This Valentine’s Day was bad for me. I asked out a girl I liked, and we went on a date. But she didn’t call me again, and she won’t answer my calls. This isn’t the first time a girl has brushed me off after the first date.
How can I impress girls enough to get that second date?
Sincerely,
The First Date Inmate
Dearest First Date Inmate,
Two quick things to clear up before I answer your question. If you happen to be an actual inmate rather than just a figuratively frustrated prisoner of love, I’d consider putting off the dating thing for say, 20 to life. It’s not that women don’t enjoy the interior of a tastefully decorated conjugal trailer, but the risk of contracting an STD shouldn’t go up for simply using the restroom on a first date.
Secondly, may I suggest you refer to your dates (past and potential included) as women, rather than girls…unless they actually are girls, in which case you better seriously consider that conjugal trailer business.
You might even want to explore calling them by their first names and avoiding age specific gender terminology all together. My point here, is that you might be lumping these women together. Not every person is the same. You need to ensure you are catering these dates to the person’s likes and dislikes, hobbies, food allergies and so on.
Take time to get to know your date a little bit better, and then you can construct an evening she will truly enjoy. This does, of course, involve some listening and effort on your part.
I suspect you might subconsciously be taking women out on “lackluster” dates, because you are afraid where a successful date might lead. The more successful dates you have with someone, the deeper the involvement. That can be scary if you aren’t ready for it.
I suggest you take time to evaluate what you really want out of dating, then work to find someone who is on the same level with the same interests. It will make escaping from your first date prison significantly easier — and you won’t have to worry about dropping the soap in the shower anymore.
Dear Gabi,
I just started dating a really great guy. I like him, so I wanted to wait to sleep with him — until he told me he likes to dress up as a giant plush toy during sex. Should I be freaked out or open to it?
Plushed and Flushed
Dear Furry and Blurry (will the incessant puns never end?),
I suggest you get this young man all decked out in his fuzzy formal wear, blind fold him (that’s exponential amounts of kink) and then drop him off at a child’s birthday party. It will either rid you of him or destroy the hopes, dreams and emotional well-being of a child — so it’s pretty much a win-win.
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