God help me. I am absolutely disgusted right now. The degradation of society has truly reached an all-time low.
Impurity continues to leak into society and pollute the minds of the weak with seeds of — heaven forbid — sexuality through daytime basic cable. What is this world coming to?
Sexually transmitted disease preventatives, such as Gardasil, are being peddled under the guise of “protecting” women. It’s unnatural, I tell you. The only real protecting we can do is to keep our daughters asexual until the wedding night. This feasible plan is the only foolproof way of preventing STDs, or, as I like to call them, SPGs — the “sexually-impure’s punishment from God.” SPGs are God’s way of getting rid of the sinners and gays. The only reason straight people have STDs is because of those heathen bisexuals bringing gay diseases into the straight world.
Some people are spreading a rumor that these life-threatening diseases can be spread through innocent sources, such as sharing towels at the gym, but I refuse to recognize such preposterous claims.
No daughter of mine will get vaccinated against an STD, whether it be HPV, hepatitis or even mono. Doing so will only condone her sexual behavior. STDs would serve her right for seducing a man into engaging in premarital “relations,” probably by wearing those immodest, shoulder-showing, A-line T-shirts.
The only safe sex, I say, is as nature intended it — within the bounds of a government-recognized union between opposite sex parent hopefuls, ideally with a religious leader’s blessing. We can all be thankful that the government is keeping our spiritual salvation in mind when determining legislation on things such as whom we can or cannot marry. What would we do if big life decisions such as these were left up to us? It would be a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah, I tell you what.
If two 18-year-olds are feeling the pressure of the sexual sin or any other “unhealthy” sexual thoughts, the only rational thing for these kids to do is to get married. It’s the most logical thing to encourage if you have their future in mind. It’s just a shame that the education system planted the seeds of sexuality with their abstinence-never education.
I will choose how and if my child learns about sex. As the only source of information on sex is parents and liberal educators, delaying and minimizing sex education will ensure that it is taught with factual accuracy and without encouragement. There will be no talk of protection. Condoms don’t prevent pregnancy or STDs, but rather increase risks by encouraging sexual activity.
Abstinence education and the absence of sexual education just make sense. Sexuality is something that is taught — it’s not biological. We are human and are in no way related to animals. Humans are not sexual by nature.
If I chose to teach my children, do you know what I would teach them? Repression and ignorance. Compressing all animal-like sexuality is definitely the healthy solution to any sex-related dilemma.
Now, if you would please excuse me, I need to go harass the customers of Blue Boutique. They are walking the path to hell, which is paved with plastic penises. They should be ashamed of their sexual enjoyment.
