The U athletic department’s budget got a little bigger Monday.
Thanks to a generous $10 donation from former Utah football player Kyle Gunther — who now plays center for the NFL Europe’s Frankfurt Galaxy — Utah was able to add to its impressive total of donations from former Utah athletes.
“The U just gave me so much while I was there, and I felt like it was time to give something back,” Gunther said over a cool pint of Hefeweizen in southern Munich, Germany, on Monday.
Gunther is the fifth former Utah athlete in recent years to make a donation to the U. While at Utah, the center amassed an impressive six pancake blocks and allowed 34 sacks in four years of action. Although not exactly known for his on-field prowess, Gunther does hold the U’s all-time record for most expletives spouted in a six-second span of time.
U head coach Kyle Whittingham said he hopes Gunther’s generous endowment leads to many other donations from former athletes down the road.
“Kyle Gunther was the epitome of a student athlete at the U,” Whittingham said. “His selflessness at the U led us to many 3-yard gains over the course of his career. I hope his generous $10 donation spurs many other former Utah football players to follow his lead.”
Gunther’s endowment will go toward buying a foot-long sandwich at Subway for one lucky Utah offensive lineman. Whittingham said Gunther’s generosity inspired him to add to Gunther’s offer by throwing in another $5 for chips and a drink and the possibility of two chocolate chip cookies if there is enough change left.
Although Gunther’s donation was made sometime last month, Athletic Director Chris Hill didn’t announce it until an official press conference Monday. Mysteriously, the only media member aware of the transaction was Deseret Morning News reporter Dirk Facer. Facer said Monday that the rumors of a tryst between himself and Hill were inaccurate.
“Those malicious comments are entirely unfounded,” Facer said. “My relationship with Hill is — and always has been — completely professional. It’s just a coincidence that we went to the same grade school, play poker together every Tuesday and were seen together at Iggy’s Sports Bar after last week’s game.”
After Gunther’s donation, former U linebackers Joe Jiannoni and Kyle Brady donated $5 apiece despite the low wages both of them earn working at the Smith’s Marketplace on 400 South.
“We’d really like to see our players reach the $10 plateau, but every little bit helps,” Whittingham said.
Warning: This article should only be read in the context of April Fool’s Day.