The sun is shining. Birds are chirping. Weather reports say it might even hit 60 degrees outside — odd weather for this time of year. Even more odd are the fashion choices made by many students at the U.
Around campus I have seen a high number of people walking among buildings dressed as though they have no idea where they are or why they are there. I think it is time that these students learn more than just the required courses in math and science. It is time for a lesson in fashion.
You are attending the college for the sake of intelligence. Now start acting like you have some.
Step one: dress appropriately. If there is still snow on the ground, the general rule of thumb is it’s too cold to dress like it is summer. Now, do not get me wrong. I commend some people’s courage when they walk into an institution of higher learning dressed as though they are unaware of the current weather conditions — braving the sleet and cold wearing little more than shorts and flip flops — but it shows little for your intelligence.
If you want to be respected, dress the part. If you want to be regarded as intelligent, dress as though you have an understanding of the current meteorological conditions. Like you can look outside, think “it is cold outside” and make the connection to dress accordingly. Although this is a commonly known rule, it is one that has proven to be misinterpreted.
Dressing for success does not entail a tux and bow tie, as a student in one of my classes understands it to mean. Enthusiasm and dedication to school can be shown by just dressing more casually, in, say, a shirt and jeans. (Tux-man, if you are reading this, go home and change now. It doesn’t make you look smarter. In fact, it does the opposite.)
Now, this is not the only questionable attire that needs to be addressed. Girls in pajamas, you are not cute. Lazy? Yes. Dirty? Yes, even more so. Spend the three seconds it takes and put on a pair of pants and a hoodie when you roll out of bed. On the flip side, dressing as though your 9:00 business class is a club is also inappropriate.
At the start of a new semester, I have a game I like to play called “Spot the Freshman.” You veterans might enjoy this. During the first couple of weeks of a new semester, try to spot as many girls wearing their first-day-of-school outfit, picked from the cover of Seventeen magazine, trying to hide their misery behind a thick face of makeup, as they tread the expanses of the hilly campus in pointy stilettos. Sorry, this isn’t high school. Go home and change. Come back looking intelligent.
Large hair is a big problem on campus. You have seen it. You might even have it. You know that ratted mass, resembling a growth coming out of the back of its host’s head? These should be banned.
I always wondered what those of you with the ratted hair are thinking in the morning. I bet it goes something like, “I love to rat my hair. I like how this gives my head the naturally large and sexy look.” Really, it is just distracting. I can’t pay attention to complex math equations when the back head of the girl sitting in front of me bears more than a similarity to the head growth on the creature from “Alien,” defying gravity itself.
In a school that values real world education, we should have a grading scale that reflects this. There are participation points. There should also be dress points. +2 points for the shirt and tie, -10 for the “cutie” shirt. If you have to tell me, you probably aren’t.