This morning Facebook released an update overhauling their “like” system. Users have long clamored for a “dislike” button, and that request has finally been answered … well, sort of. There’s not actually a dislike button. Instead there are five new “reaction” buttons — love, haha, wow, sad and angry.

Now, I could choose to be a rational citizen of the Internet community and wait to pass judgement on this update, but where’s the fun in that? Nope, I’m giving Facebook’s new update a big “angry button.”

Here’s what’s wrong with Facebook’s new liking system.

1. First of all, a love button? Way to copy Twitter, who was just copying Instagram. Good job, Zuckerberg! What’s your next big innovation?
2. The problem with the love button is that it’s such a big commitment. How long should you be friends with someone before you “love” one of their posts? How will that affect your relationship?
3. Then, once you start “loving” someone’s posts, are you allowed to go back to simply “liking” their posts? “Bae! You didn’t love my selfie! You only liked it! We’re done!”
4. There’s a like button, a love button, but not a “want some more of it” button.
5. The “haha” button. Everyone knows that “haha” is used to designate a pity laugh or a sarcastic laugh. If Facebook wanted to include a button for people to express genuine amusement, it should represent how young people actually text: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Like that.
6. The problem with the “wow” button is that it’s ambiguous. You might be saying, “Wow, that skydiving video you posted was really cool.” It might equally be used to express something like, “Wow, my uncle who just endorsed Donald Trump is a complete moron.” It all depends on context.
7. Why did we need the “angry” button? Because if there’s one thing the Internet lacks, it’s anger? I mean, who wouldn’t want more rage-filled arguments with faceless strangers in their online experience?
8. Facebook missed out on a great opportunity to base their new system on the seven deadly sins. It makes sense, really. Whenever you like something, you’re really just feeling either envy, lust or gluttony anyways.
9. What else could Facebook have done better? Why not create a system that encourages people to become even more emotionally dependent on online validation. “Likes” have always been the currency of Facebook, so why not make them actual currency? Create an online store where users can turn in “likes” they acquire as currency to buy FarmVille supplies, profile skins, or even more reaction buttons. You know it would be successful too.

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