With a new school year comes new experiences and changes. For some, a new relationship buds and for others, a weathered relationship dies. A recent study by University of Utah professors as part of the Relationships Decisions Lab, describes how time invested in a romantic relationship impacts one’s thought-process when deciding whether to break it off for good.
Dr. Samantha Joel of the University of Utah Psychology Department was intrigued with what makes the breakup decision difficult for certain couples and sought to understand what that decision making process looks like.
“I wanted to test the intuitive notion that these decisions are difficult. To dig into the process and know that pros and cons people weigh out when making a big decision,” expressed Joel.
Together, they analyzed survey responses of lovers in the midst of a break up who range from long term dating to marriage. When asked to describe why an individual would stay in a relationship, ‘dating’ versus ‘married’ samples indicated stark contrasts in their responses.
Those who were dating found more positive reasons as the “why” to staying in the relationship. Some examples include the emotional intimacy, positive aspects of their partner’s personality and comfort they felt in the relationships. In comparison, those married found that their reasons to stay were more negative. Married couples offered less romantic reasons such as the investment in the relationship, fear of uncertainty and family responsibilities. These suggested that the more one invests in a relationship, the more difficult it is to leave.
“Relationships are a complex part of human interaction that makes up a major part of our society, so it doesn’t surprise me that they’re studied in such depth,” Lindsay Montague, a student at the U, said.
“This study is not meant to help people who are struggling with the decision to break up or stay with their partner, but rather to let those in the same situation know that they aren’t alone. It’s a common experience because there are simultaneous reasons to leave and stay,” Joel said,
In addition, there will be a new online study conducted by Joel to understand the process and thoughts people have when getting into a new relationship. Currently, she is recruiting locals who have just entered a new relationship or those who have recently gone on their first date and are still moving forward within the past month. To fulfill the study participants will be given an online questionnaire and a few surveys. Those participants will be compensated in various ways for their participation. For further information, those interested may visit http://relationshipdecisions.org/utah-pair-project/