The Chronicle sat down with two LGBTQ+ students at the University of Utah, Ethan Lizana and Cameron Coffey, to discuss their experiences as queer people at the University of Utah. The Chrony also interviewed Professor of Gender Studies and Psychology Lisa Diamond to gain insight into the LGBTQ+ community more broadly.

Challenges in Utah

Lizana and Coffey both grew up in rural Utah. Rural communities generally are more conservative and less accepting of the LGBTQ community in the United States.

Lizana explained the challenges of living in rural Utah as a closeted person.

“There’s almost a dampening presence, you don’t feel as comfortable to come out because it’s all this pressure and all these people that are like, well, we’re gonna stop being your friend because you’re gay,” Lizana said.

While rural challenges aren’t exclusive to Utah, Lizana mentioned how religion also played a factor in his comfort level coming out to people.

“You’re also told marriage is between man and woman. And that’s ingrained in you, from when you’re a kid,” Lizana said.

Utah has the largest population of religious people in any state in America. Comparably, on a nationwide scale, 47% of people are religiously affiliated, while in Utah, it is 76%.

Additionally, Coffey raised how intersectionality affects her differently in the way people perceive her.

“Being a black woman, I feel like I experience a lot more racial prejudice than I do homophobic. I receive a lot more homophobic stuff when I’m with my girlfriend, like when we are together, it’s like she’s the accessory, and I feel that’s where the intersectionality happens more,” Coffey said.

“It’s like putting me in a more masculine role than my girlfriend, that’s not necessarily our dynamic, I dress very feminine, she dresses very feminine, but my intersectionality with being a black woman, I’m placed in a more masculine role.”

Coffey’s experience reflects a trend of queer people of color experiencing higher rates of discrimination.

Insight Into Queer Dating

Both Coffey and Lizana explained how they were turning to dating apps to find romantic relationships. Their discussion of dating apps reflects national trends, as LGBTQ people use dating apps more often than straight individuals.

Lizana discussed how being under the age of 21 has increased the use of online dating, as they cannot go to gay bars. However, Lizana also described the difficulty of finding people on dating apps.

“It’s hard to find a meaningful connection over apps… There’s a lot of people that aren’t focused on emotional connection. It’s a little dissuading… And that leaves, like, 5 people left, and they don’t want you,” Lizana said.

Coffey currently has a partner and is in a long-term relationship. Coffey explained how, oftentimes, she feels pressure to fit into a stereotype within the community and navigate the dynamic of what a queer relationship looks like.

“And then you have to figure out ‘What is our dynamic like?’ Because society tells you that you have to,” said Coffey. “I feel like, for the queer community, once they get to the point of labeling a relationship, it puts you guys in a box. But there’s not necessarily a box for you already. You have to kind of navigate what this looks like, which is healthy within relationships, but also difficult for the queer community.”

Coffey explained what dating looked like for her when she was single and the significance of labeling the relationship.

“The most difficult thing was being like, ‘Oh, this is an official relationship. We are labeling this because that, for the queer community.’ I feel like [it] holds a lot more weight than it does for the heterosexual community, because having a girlfriend and having a boyfriend is very much the norm,” Coffey said.

Navigating Challenges Within The Community

Through dating and the different challenges that have been discussed, Diamond approaches these problems with a solution of building more community.

“Forget this word community, throw it out. The word you’re looking for is friendship. Do I have friends? I feel okay, I feel joyful, and I feel safe and secure. That is where community comes from. It comes from having your experiences validated and shared,” Diamond said.

Looking at this through the lens of dating, Diamond explains that dating has become harder for the majority of adults and that there is a lack of community and communication. However,

Diamond proposed a solution for finding social safety in the LGBTQ community.

“At the end of the day, the best sources of social safety are not institutions. They are people. Our brains evolved to get our safety from the eyes, and faces, and arms and voices of other individuals who show us that they affirm us, and love us and care for us with how they treat us,” said Diamond. “Community isn’t just like the Pride Parade and a couple of events. Community is what happens every day in between those events, the tiny, tiny actions that thread our lives together.”

Safety in Current Times

Utah’s legislature has enacted statewide laws that target the LGBTQ community. The national government hasn’t targeted queer individuals; however, it has made laws around transgender people. These laws usually focus on education and sports.

Lizana and Coffey expressed a fear of what is happening in politics. While it may not target them specifically now, Coffey is fearful that it will get to that point.

“I feel unsupported sometimes, and very, I don’t know it feels very divisive, and I just it’s very harmful and just very hurtful,” Coffey said. “I haven’t gotten to a point where I can understand why these bills will be passed, other than hate and dislike for queer lifestyles and queer people, and queer communities are the only reason I can see someone wanting to even write legislation like this.”

Diamond explained how feeling a lack of connection is an opportunity to strengthen the community and embrace joy for the LGBTQ community.

“When we feel like the institutions that have power seem intent on fracturing us and dividing us… To connect is to resist,” Diamond said. “So when we think about ‘I’m gonna go to the capital, I’m gonna do this protest,’ I’m like, ‘you know what a form of protest is?’ It’s gathering, gathering marginalized people together on the floor of your living room and being like, we’re gonna play a silly game, and we are gonna laugh our butts off, and we’re gonna realize that. No one can take this.”

Resources

Diamond teaches a course on Love and Relationships at the U, which dives into the science of human connection.

Center for Student Wellness – Health and Wellness Services

University Counseling Center– Group therapy, brief individual counseling, or medication services

Equality Utah– Advocacy and education for LGBTQ+ rights

Utah Pride Center– Community events, support groups, and mental health referrals

The Trevor Project– 24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth

GLAAD– Advocacy and representation

Trans Lifeline – Grants and peer support for transgender individuals

s.pokharel@dailyutahchronicle.com

@suvamu.bsky.social