If I hadn’t said taken the chance to the opportunity to apply for The Daily Utah Chronicle three years ago, I never would have had the best college experience I could have asked for.

For high school I attended a very small charter school that had a total of 300 students from sixth to 12th grade. Given the quaint facilities and STEM-focused curriculum, the school lacked sports teams or any kind of athletic extracurriculars — in fact, our biggest source of school spirit came from our robotics team. 

As a result, I wanted to be a part of something bigger once I got to the U. In my search for this new adventure, I found myself on the openings page of the Chrony’s website, and the sports writer posting immediately caught my eye. 

But I found myself hesitating — I had never written as a job before, and honestly I loathed writing in high school. What if it took up too much time or I didn’t do well? I knew I enjoyed sports, as I grew up watching soccer and playing volleyball, so that wasn’t an issue. But would I stand out as a girl on the sports desk? 

While these thoughts crossed my mind, I realized I didn’t care what the answer was for any of them. So what if I wasn’t good at it? At least I could say that I tried. And who cares if I am the only girl? I could bring a fresh perspective and highlight the U’s incredible female athletes.

Thankfully, I bit the bullet and chose to take the plunge. My first assignment as a rookie writer was to cover the women’s basketball beat in the fall of 2022. The program was on the up and up, and though I entered the season a little bit late I could see that the Lady Utes were a force to be reckoned with. 

I started attending their weekly practices, taking the opportunity to talk to the players even when I had no idea what to ask about. All of it was new to me, and interviewing coaches and athletes felt like speaking to celebrities. Walking on the court after the game felt like I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be, but I was always ushered into the post game interviews with the rest of the journalists. 

Needless to say, it was clear that I had a touch of imposter syndrome. But as time went on, I noticed little things that made this feeling dissipate — I began to connect with the other writers and communications staff, and then-coach Lynne Roberts and a few of the players started to recognize me in press conferences. Suddenly asking them questions wasn’t so nerve wracking anymore, and by the start of regular season play in January I felt like I was one of the group. 

As seasons ended and I transitioned between sports, it became apparent to me that this cycle of uncertainty and belonging would find its way in every time. But as semesters progressed and I got more experience under my belt, I learned that it’s simply part of the process and that it’s best to just lean into it. 

After all, it’s more enjoyable to laugh at your perceived shortcomings than to act like they don’t exist. This sentiment became heightened as I moved up in the desk and began to take on more responsibility — one of which was a coveted spot on the Utah football beat. 

I’ll never forget my first football game at the start of the 2023 season, when the Utes sent the Gators packing back to Florida on opening night. Once I had found my way to the press box of Rice-Eccles Stadium, I leaned over to my editor, Sean, and mentioned that that night was the first football game I’d ever been to. 

To my partial amusement, I could see the regret sink in on his face once he realized I definitely didn’t know anything about the game. From that point forward, and through two whole seasons at Rice Eccles, it became a running joke that I don’t understand football at all. 

Whether that’s true or not is neither here nor there. The point is that it’s okay to feel uncertain, especially in the dynamic environment of a college campus. It’s important to not take yourself so seriously — stumble through it if you have to, but you’ll look back and be grateful you did.

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