Tonight’s men’s basketball game between Utah and UNLV might require a pronunciation guide. And stay classy Utah, try not to laugh. I of all people know the cruelty of name bashing (emphasize my frowny face).
You’ll meet guys like René Rougeau. His first name is pronounced just like that actress from Jerry McGwire. His last name sounds like “Road Jew,” which isn’t anti-Semitic because I’m not Dr. Seuss and it’s the only thing I could think of that rhymes with Rougeau. The best part is that it sort of sounds like a new blush line from Maybelline.
You’ll also be introduced to Tre’Von Willis. Good basketball player, but his first name kind of sounds like an hors d’oeuvre. Yes, I’d like a side of Grey Poupon with my Tre’Von, por favor?
Then there will be Wink8212;or is it Blink? Adams. Seriously, don’t laugh at him because I’ve personally seen him stick a few daggers in the hearts of his opponents, including Utah and a couple opening-round NCAA tournament foes.
Speaking of hearts, you might be tempted to read the king of hearts, Matt “Madman” Maxson’s, column about Utah not having one. It’s sitting somewhere on the previous web page. He’s come up with some ridiculous example of why Utah has no heart and UNLV does.
If UNLV has so much heart, why doesn’t it try winning a conference tournament championship on someone else’s floor? Air Force would be a perennial favorite to make the NCAA tournament every year if we held the MWC tournament in Colorado Springs, Colo. If you’re going to tell me that Vegas is more fun, you’re right. But when you actually prove you’re the best team in the conference on a neutral floor, then you can talk to me about heart.
As for tonight’s game, I have to give you props on your coach, Lon Kruger. He’s my second favorite basketball mind in the MWC behind Snap into a Slim Jim Boylen (yes, that was a pot shot at the Mtn.’s Marty Fletcher and his flair for the obvious nickname, but I now see how fun that can be). Boylen will sweat more on the sidelines than any Runnin’ Rebel on the court. That’s because he’s got more heart than the entire city of Las Vegas combined, and that’s trickled down to his players. When you have to write your apology column tomorrow after Utah wins by 10, maybe you can also mention that you’re finally scared to face a team in the MWC tournament despite your built-in advantage.
