“Doom”

Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak

Geeks who sat in the dark and played “Doom” in their basements can now sit in the dark and watch the movie-only this time, their moms won’t turn on the light and demand they turn off that “damned Satanic thing!” You’ll get yours, Mother…oh, yes… (R)

“Stay”

Directed by Marc Forster

Don’t you hate demanding movie titles? Well, what if I don’t like the story about Ewan McGregor jumping back and forth between the world of the living and the world of the dead? What if I just leave? What then, chump?! (R)

“North Country”

Directed by Niki Caro

Charlize Theron plays the first woman to win a major sexual harassment lawsuit against her employers. The smarter thing to do would have been to install a community hot tub to bolster inter-sexual relations. Nothing breeds respect like simmering nakedness! (R)

“The Work and the Glory: American Zion”

Directed by Sterling Van Wagenen

Has anyone seen the trailer for this movie? Or, more specifically, the two-minute demonstration of how to build a preview solely out of smoldering, righteous hotties? (PG-13)

“Dreamer”

Directed by John Gatins

Dakota Fanning plays an underdog jockey (or is it underhorse?) in this uplifting tale. Rumor has it that Fanning feeds on the blood of live ponies to retain her spooky cuteness. (PG)

“Reel Paradise”

Directed by Steve James

Film buff John Pierson relocates his family to Fiji to manage a movie theater in this documentary. Hopefully they can run a projector better than the underpaid teenagers at Movies 10. (R)

“Forty Shades of Blue”

Directed by Ira Sachs

No, it’s not about an agonizing decision in the Home Depot paint aisle (worst…joke…EVER). It’s much better: A young Russian woman has an affair with her lover’s estranged son. (Not rated)

“The Land Has Eyes”

Directed by Vilsoni Hereniko

Inspired by legends of a warrior woman, an islander escapes from her suffocating culture. Inspired by legends of Ross, Rachel and the other Friends, Utahns escape from their suffocating culture. Friday-for one night only-at the Tower. (NR)

“Jeepers Creepers”

Directed by Victor Salva

A winged beast chows down on Justin Long’s eyes-his sweet, puppy-dog eyes….What? Who said that? Swoop on down to the Tower this weekend to watch stupid teenagers meet their doom. (R)

“Tangos, the Exile of Gardel”

Directed by Fernando Solanas

Ah, Tangos. You didn’t stand a chance against Godzilla. He grabbed you by your skinny, insectoid neck and lobbed you against the Louvre like so much dead, gigantic Euro-trash.

Oh, wait, you mean this movie is about political exiles in Paris? Don’t you mean giant MONSTER exiles in Paris! No? Well, if you’re still interested, go see the best-named movie ever at the OSH auditorium this Sunday at 7 p.m. Parking and admission are free. (PG-13)

Compiled by Aaron Allen