The grass is green, and the sun is shining brightly as I enter the happiest of all happy places, Brigham Young University.
Upon entry into the library to do some research, I find that I am on the “do-not-allow list” because of a goatee I used to sport when I frequented the Harold B. Lee Library.
As I wait to talk to the librarian, several students with goatees walk past me into the library. They are greeted with smiles from the library employees. Upon my protest, I learn that indeed, the school’s honor code allows students with a “Beard Card” to enter. So, because of my lack of a Beard Card, I could not enter the library.
I continued to wait for the librarian to come interview me regarding my facial repentance. While waiting, I asked if I could be allowed to enter because of the removal of my goatee months prior.
I was told that because I still had a “patch of hair below my mouth,” that I still would not be allowed in because of my name being on “the list” and because I had no Beard Card. I knew this flavor-saver would come back to bite me.
While I had found this frustrating, I couldn’t help but wish that the library’s thought police would hold Wrangler-wearing students accountable for violating the ban on “form-fitting” clothing.
Having grown weary of the wait, I exited the library to get my 2 p.m. Diet Coke from the nearby Wilkinson Center.
After searching in vain, I asked a BYU student whether it sold normal Diet Coke on campus. I didn’t really understand the answer I received from this burly BYU coed because of excessive uses of the words “like” and “fur sure.”
I left this friendly zoology major/project in mid-sentence because…well, she was scary. Out of some of her ramblings, I got the impression that caffeinated beverages are not sold, nor allowed, on campus. Frustrated, I left to go home. Upon exiting the Wilkinson Center, I noticed that a College Republican meeting was going on, and it seemed as if all the students on campus were there. I stopped to listen and heard the speaker say, “No good Mormon can ever be a Democrat.”
Having known several stake presidents-my father included-who are strong Democrats, I asked the speaker why he thought like this.
“Because they are socialists! They want to rip guns away from law-abiding citizens and force everyone to have abortions!”
He continued to press on, but I had grown tired of my adventure and decided to take leave of this academic institution.
While driving-or, since I was in Utah County, fighting-my way home, I pondered on my experience.
The honor code does not allow men to wear facial hair-without a Beard Card, that is. Clearly, students at BYU had fought for their right to grow facial hair with permission-so clearly they aren’t totally the sheep some of us at the U might think they are.
Yet I couldn’t help but think that while all the fighting at BYU involved laws on dress, grooming and consumption of caffeinated soda, 2,000 American soldiers have died in Iraq-and the only political debate I ran into involved protesting the desire of Democrats to force everyone to have abortions.
Go figure.
