Police Briefs

On a quest

Oct. 17, 2005?

A woman arrested for trespassing at a University Hospital clinic said she was “continuing (her) quest.”

She has been arrested several times for the same act in the same place and was booked into jail, this time on stalking and disorderly conduct charges as well as the trespassing charge.??

Her Nintendo 64 copy of “Zelda” was permanently confiscated.

Bad memory

Nov. 23, 2005?

A mini DVD player was stolen from a bag stored in a University Hospital break room. The room is secured by keypad access, but the access code is written on the room’s doorframe.

To avoid further problems, the keypad will be replaced by a lock with the key stored under the mat.

Dazed and confused

Nov 26, 2005

A woman went to the University Hospital emergency room for a pregnancy problem, where she was found to be not pregnant but under the influence of cocaine and crystal meth.

She became angry when told to move and dug her fingernails into the arm of one of the security officers, breaking the skin. After being medically cleared, she was arrested and booked into jail on an assault charge and two ?outstanding warrants.

Urine-soaked Pixy Stix were later found in her bathroom in an EPT box.

Getting conned by The Count

Dec. 2, 2005

A woman followed the instructions of an e-mail telling her to visit a Web site and enter her account information to correct a problem in her PayPal account.

A week ?later, she found that more than $3,000 had been taken from her University Credit Union account. The debits to her account took place in Bucharest and Transylvania.

Mysteriously, the next day’s “Sesame Street” ran two hours overtime, as The Count made it to 3,000.

Nobel Prize physicist prank calls

Dec. 5, 2005

A woman received a strange voice message on her College of Science line that said, “I am Stephen Hawking. Turn over all your computer equipment or you will be destroyed. I am your leader.”

Suspicious smelling brownies were then removed from the graduate offices.

Trouble on TRAX

Dec. 9, 2005

A man was found staggering down 1300 East. When asked by an officer if he was all right, the man said he was walking strangely because, while on TRAX, he had felt the need to pass some gas, and more than gas came out. The man said he ?just wanted to get home, take a shower and go to bed.

‘Nuff said.

Seen too many movies

Dec. 10, 2005?

Someone discharged a fire extinguisher in a student apartment in the Chapel Glen complex, which completely covered the room in dust and cost about $500 to clean up.

Three Stooges and Marx Brothers movies were then banned from the floor.

Compiled by Lana Groves