“Inside Man”

Directed by Spike Lee

Despondent after losing his shot to play Bond (James Bond), Clive Owen seeks his fame and fortune by robbing a bank and taking hostages in Spike Lee’s genre-romp “Inside Man.” Denzel Washington plays the dogged detective on the outside.

Apparently, the bank seems impenetrable until Mookie finds a way in by hurling a flaming Willem Dafoe through the window. (R)

“Stay Alive”

Directed by William Brent Bell

Your mom always said that if you play too many video games, your eyeballs will fall out.

What she didn’t tell you is that if your avatar dies, you will also die in the same gruesome fashion.

So that explains it. Just the other day, my friend got “Game Over” on Mega Man and suddenly exploded in a spread of shiny white orbs.

What a terrifically retro way to go. (PG-13)

“Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector”

Directed by Trent Cooper

Is he a cable guy or a health inspector? Make up your damned mind!

Either way, he’s probably grossly under-qualified. Or just gross. But not qualified. Just so we’re clear. (PG-13)

“Ask the Dust”

Directed by Robert Towne

Ask the dust? Well, OK.

“Excuse me, Mr. Dust?”

“COUGH! HACK! Ahem. Yes?”

“Are you really just an accumulation of dead cells?”

“Yes. That, and I’m featured in the name of a movie about a Depression-era writer played by Colin Farrell.”

“Oh. You mean someone blew you off of Colin Farrell’s career?” (R)

“Gay Sex in the ’70s”

Directed by Joseph F. Lovett

“Mommy! Mommy! What’s that movie about?”

“Well, Susie, I don’t know. The name is kind of cryptic. Let’s buy a ticket and see for ourselves!”

“Yay!”

Little did Susie and her mom know that “Gay Sex in the ’70s” was about gay sex in the ’70s and the first reported case of AIDS.

If only the title had clued them in? (Not rated)

MIDNIGHT MADNESS AT THE TOWER!

“Rubin and Ed”

Directed by Trent Harris

Local filmmaker and summertime screenwriting teacher Trent Harris has a long-running relationship with out-there actor Crispin Glover, who plays Rubin in this bizarre buddy comedy.

You see, Rubin wants to bury his rapidly defrosting cat in the sweltering Utah desert, and?oh, just go see it for yourself at the Tower. (PG-13)