Ten Things More Over-Rated than Utah’s Top Three Ranking in the AP Poll

Ten Things More Over-Rated than Utahs Top Three Ranking in the AP Poll

By Justin Adams

Let me preface this by saying that I’m a huge Utah fan, and I think they’re very good, even great. They’re definitely one of the best 25 teams in the country, and perhaps one of the top 10. But as we saw on Saturday, they’re not one of the top three. So yes, they were “over-rated” — not to the degree that haters from the TDS will say, but a little over-rated nonetheless. Their current #13 ranking is probably more accurate as to where they fit into the national picture.

With that said, here are ten things that are more over-rated than Utah’s No. 3 ranking in the AP poll.

1. Thanksgiving Food – I love Thanksgiving. But it has more to do with the break from school, being with family, and playing football than it does food. I don’t hate Thanksgiving food, but it is vastly over-rated. Turkey is about the driest and blandest meat I’ve ever had. Stuffing is just a terrible idea. Green bean casserole could be good, if you substituted the green beans for something that’s actually good. And although I’ve never tried them, anything that’s called ‘giblets’ can’t possibly be good.

2. Adele – Or, more specifically, her new song “Hello.” The internet has been freaking out this past week because Adele’s first single in years came out. Well, I listened to it, and it’s the most boring song since … I don’t know. I actually can’t think of a more boring song. Bad songs, I can handle. I can at least make fun of how bad they are. “Hello” isn’t a bad song, but it’s about as creative and interesting as the way Adele names her albums.

3. The Constitution — Don’t get me wrong, the Constitution has a lot going for it. It had some good ideas. But these days, people talk about the Constitution like it’s infallible. As if it’s the end-all be-all of American government and should never, ever be changed. Well, if the Constitution was perfect when it was written, there would still be slaves, kids would still be working in factories, and women wouldn’t be able to vote.

george washington

4. Frozen — Sure, “Frozen” was a good movie. But why was it a good movie? Because it was mostly about pointing out how silly Disney’s previous princess movies have been. But that had already been well-documented by the Internet. So just because Disney makes a movie that openly acknowledges that a lot of its previous movies have been sexist snd unrealistic, we’re all supposed to worship it?

5. Watch Me (the whip & nae-nae song) — This song has somehow become a cultural phenomenon of frightening proportions. Peewee football players stop in the middle of their game to do the “nae-nae” dance when the song comes on. But don’t let the song’s popularity trick you into thinking that this is anything resembling music. I’m pretty sure it only became a thing because people played it ironically, and then other people made the mistake of not realizing it was a joke. But the joke should be over pretty soon, as reports are coming in that Hillary Clinton “ruined it.”

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6. College Life — According to the movies, college life is the best. It’s supposed to be an endless cycle of beer pong, hooking up and casual drug-use, all without any consequences. While that might be the reality for some people (though I have yet to meet them), actual college life is mostly a struggle to eat enough food each day so you don’t wither away and die. And the rest of the time that you’re not scavenging for food, you’re having a stress-induced panic attack because you binge-watched Netflix all day instead of writing the essay that’s due in three hours. Still better than high school, though.

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7. “The Big Bang Theory” — I actually think this is a decent show. I appreciate the nerd humor, but my problem with it is the same problem I have with most CBS comedies I’ve seen: the laugh track. If a show needs an audio track to let the television audience know when to laugh, then you’re doing comedy wrong. Take that out, and “The Big Bang Theory” would actually deserve its high ratings.

8. Bacon — Before you send me your hate mail and death threats, just hear me out. Bacon IS an exquisitely divine food, when it is prepared perfectly. But how often is that? All too often I’ll order something with bacon, and the bacon will be this crunchy hard tac substance that tastes sort of like bacon, but also sort of like burning. It’s as disappointing as good bacon is amazing, which only makes it all the more sad. And it seems to have become the norm, rather than the exception. Thus, bacon is overrated.

9. The Beach — Everyone loves the idea of going to the beach. In reality, though, it’s a complicated and messy endeavor that will only leave you scrubbing sand out of various body orifices for a week. I don’t understand why people go on vacations to places just because there’s a beach there. I think the mountains are a better destination than the beach any day. Not only can you still go swimming, but you can find lakes with rope swings or big rocks to go cliff-jumping. How many beaches have that?

10. Sea Food — I’m sorry, but sea food is seriously the worst. I mean, “fishy” is a word that people use to describe something that smells bad. And yet someone thought it would be a good idea to make a whole genre of cuisine based on that smell. Not only does it taste bad, but a lot of it actually requires you to work before you can eat it. If I’m paying you to eat food, I don’t want to have to extract it from its shell, pull off its legs, or whatever else you have to do. And don’t even get me started on the people who think fish is a legitimate substitute for real meat.

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@jusstadams