I…had…the time of my life
April 25, 2007
Keeping in mind that I just got finished writing five stories in the lovely little gymnastics Game Guide, you’ll hopefully forgive me if I ramble a bit.
Being a sports writer has been a dream come true, but frankly I’m glad that Wednesday has come so I can finally take a break from the rat race for a while. Here are a few things I’ve learned in my first year as a sports writer.
No. 1: When entering an NBA locker room, keep your eyes high. These guys are all over six feet tall for the most part and after they get out of the shower, there’s business going on that nobody wants a part of.
No. 2: Don’t get into an argument with a copy editor unless you plan on getting a lecture on grammar for five minutes, followed by the inevitable tail-between-your-legs walk back to your desk.
No. 3: Throwing the football, kicking the soccer ball and sports in general are much more fun when there is the distinct possibility that a $1,000 monitor could be broken at any moment.
No. 4: If you say something bad about Deron Williams, be prepared to get called every name in the book by Illini fans that would rather die a slow, painful death than hear someone slam an alumnus.
No. 5: The round table before the Jazz game is filled with some of the greatest arguments in Utah — besides the occasional banter between Chris Bellamy and Matthew Piper regarding who is the better quarterback, Manning or Brady.
No. 6: Girls may not know too much about sports, but it’s not a good idea to tell them so to their faces, or in a column.
No. 7: If you talk to Nicolle Ford and she hasn’t had her caffeine-rich energy drink, plan on having a good time listening to her be grumpy.
No. 8: No matter when you talk to Nina Kim or Kristina Baskett, they are always going to seem like they’ve had an energy drink.
No. 9: Arnold Schwarzenegger movies are just as good as they were when you were a kid, especially with a room full of guys that get a kick out of ridiculous unrealistic action scenes (such as a flight attendant suddenly having the knowledge of how to use a rocket launcher).
No. 10: “If you’re dumb enough to not save your article multiple times while writing, then you deserve to lose it” is not the smartest thing to say to someone that has just done so. Especially if that person was once a Marine. Semper Fi, motherf***er!
