Patience: Should You Move In with Your Significant Other?

Patience: Should You Move In with Your Significant Other?

By Alisa Patience

Living with a significant other isn’t for everyone. In fact, there are married couples who have kids, are in love and are exclusive, but who don’t live together because they prefer their own spaces. But if you’re with the right person, and you want to live together, then sharing your living space can be easy. It just depends on who you are, and how you and your partner function together. So, if you’re trying to decide whether or not to move in with your special someone, here is a pro/con list you can consider.

Pro: You get that test-run that all serious but unmarried couples need. Through this you can learn more about your partner and yourself — day-to-day habits, annoyances and what chores they do and don’t do — and it could result in a smoother happily ever after.

Con: The test run could fail, and you could end up broken up. Maybe by seeing each other all the time the two of you just get under each other’s skin. Or you find that you don’t like how frequently they shower or snore at night. Regardless, living together can be a risky move for your relationship, so think carefully before boxing everything up and getting stuck in a lease with someone you might end up hating.

Pro: You can get a one bedroom apartment and save money. With a roommate you’d probably have to get a two-bedroom and spend more, or you can wind up with a studio that sacrifices privacy. But in a one bedroom, it’s cheaper than living on your own, you split the bills in half, you can carpool and save gas and you don’t have as many people to deal with as you would in a dorm or other roommate scenarios.

Con: You could be doing your best to be the perfect adult. You go grocery shopping, do laundry, clean up your stuff and put your dishes in the dish washer, but the apartment or house would still be dirty because your partner might not do their part to keep the space clean. Dating someone who is a bad roommate because they have different views on chores can be hard. And if you’re on the other side of the issue and don’t particularly like chores, a con could be the nagging from your partner to clean up.

Pro: Living with your significant other is like having a sleep over every night with your best friend. You can stay up late talking, make desserts whenever you want, watch movies and have the best time.

Con: It’s like having a sleepover every night with your best friend. If you and your friend plan on doing homework together, how often does it actually get done? Living with a partner can be distracting, either because you’re so annoyed with them that you can’t focus on your work, or because you want to spend time with them that you put off your homework. This can seriously hurt your grades, something most students can’t afford.

Pro: You feel like you’re married. It’s comfortable and you don’t have the pressure of casual dating. You always have someone to take to family gatherings, you can send holiday cards and at the end of the day you have someone you love to go home to.

Con: When you enter college, dozens of responsibilities are thrust upon you that make you feel more grown up. This can be good, but living with a partner can make you feel a little more grown up than what you’re ready for. After all, most students are in their early twenties, and if you’re one of those rare adults in Utah who doesn’t want to be married as soon as possible, living with a partner can make you feel trapped and too dependent on another person.

When it comes down to it, it’s completely up to you to determine whether the pros outweigh the cons. Everyone is different, and sometimes it’s easier to be by yourself. But it’s also the case that sometimes the difficulties that come with living with the one you love are worth it. At the end of the day, you probably won’t know unless you try.

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