Regaining lost humanity is an important part of healing from trauma.
Syndicated columnists Patrisia Gonzales and Roberto Rodriguez spoke about rehumanization to a predominantly male Hispanic audience of more than 100 Thursday in the Union Ballroom. The speech was part of the Women?s Resource Center?s Seeds of Violence lecture series.
The husband-wife team spoke about the violence they had experienced in their lives.
Gonzales began with a prayer for all of the Latinos and Latinas in the audience. On Sept. 11, Gonzales remained calm during the attacks. She realized why: She was a survivor.
Earlier in her life, she became ill with a disease that attacked her immune system. She couldn?t walk, write or work. The experience forced her to question what people are when they lose all the labels attributed to them.
?When we lose all of our transient identities, we return to the spirit, the true identity,? she said.
Her illness forced her to explore her spirituality more than she already had done with her Buddhist background. She had to come to terms with the fact that at the age of 7, molestation took away her ?sacred protection.? In her 30s, Gonzales was raped.
She had to realize her father?s alcoholism came from the fact he was abused as a child and that he returned from war ?shell-shocked,? Gonzales said.
She related stories of her mother holding her at the age of one, while Gonzales’ father chased them with a knife.
?Those memories are not my mother?s, they are mine. Even though I was only 1 year old, I lived through those experiences,? she said. ?They say that ?susto? [fright] is the reason for diabetes, alcoholism and gang violence.?
However, there is a biological change that occurs when a person is traumatized.
?When a women who is carrying a child is traumatized, cortisone is sent to the fetus, which can lead to lower brain development,? she said.
She talked about healing from her rape.
The counselors she spoke to didn?t understand her because she wouldn?t cry during therapy sessions, and dreams played an integral role in her healing.
?Native women are survivors. We don?t heal the same way as other women. Indigenous women have thick skins,? she said.
She eventually went back to the house in which she had been raped and reclaimed it. However, her rapist called her ?b****,? and the word kept coming up in her life and in her environment.
?The word wouldn?t go away until I had cleansed myself spiritually,? she said.
Gonzales traveled the country speaking about surviving rape and helped other women heal.
?I don?t want to stay with the pain [in this speech], but I just wanted to let you know where I?m coming from,? she said.
Her healing began when she communed with Mother Earth, she said.
?I realized the feminine energy of Mother Earth, which made me find my own feminine energy,? she said. ?Mother Earth is the great recycler, and I had to recycle the trash that was in me.?
Gonzales has explored many herbalist and naturalist paths in her healing.
She recently attended a seminar on the power of the heart in healing and found out that there is a physiological change in the brain that occurs when a person is traumatized. The neural pathways get shifted to the lower brain, which is the most primitive part of the brain, she said.
?When you focus more on your heart than your head, you have more emotional power, which gives you more control over your fate,? she said.
?They are always saying that our youth are hopeless. They have hope, they need faith they can change their fate,? she continued. ?Loving yourself is the most radical and revolutionary thing you can do. It?s an everyday act against oppression.?
Rodriguez spoke about the trauma he has experienced.
?Even though I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress syndrome, it doesn?t mean I live with it,? he said.
In 1960, Rodriguez?s family immigrated to the United States. He remembered being called a ?wet back? everyday.
However, the most traumatic event he experienced happened on March 23, 1979. He photographed about a dozen police officers severely beating a man. The officers then turned on Rodriguez and hit him about 50 times and cracked his skull, he said.
He was jailed, hospitalized and then charged with trying to kill four police officers.
Throughout his lifetime, he was arrested more than 60 times.
?Every time I was arrested, I thought I was going to be killed,? he said.
He had two trials, which lasted a total of seven-and-a half years, both of which he ?won.? However, after the trial ended, the officers involved were promoted.
People of color understand instinctively racial and social hate, he said.
?I had a lot of hate put in me, I didn?t want it, but it was forced there,? he said. ?One time, when I was talking about my experiences, I lost my voice. I recognized then something bad had happened to me. I meditated, and I had visions, which is something very special.?
Rodriguez described the beginning of his rehumanization process.
?I wasn?t human. I couldn?t sing, I couldn?t dance. I had so much rage in me,? he said. ?Someone prayed over me with sage, and I sang for the first time in 29 years. Now I sing for the Hopi elders. I still have some of the hate, but it?s peeling away little by little.?