During the past few weeks, big styrofoam letter ‘U’s of various colors adorned the Union, celebrating the U. As publicly displayed ‘U’s disappear gradually to make room for holiday decorations, one has appeared in a private workspace, and has one employee upset.
“From far away, the U is a symbol of the state’s flagship university,” said Laura White, an employee who requested her place of work remain anonymous. “But up close it’s an eyesore.”
After retrieving a styrofoam U from a garbage bin, one of White’s co-workers put it up in their office. “I figured, ”hey, free U,’ who’s going to complain about that?” the co worker, Jaleel McAngus, said.
While McAngus wanted to add some color and variety to the office, he didn’t think about the long-term impact, White said.
“He’s not doing his job maintaining the styrofoam symbol,” she continued.
McAngus promised to take care of the U when he set it up, but he has not kept his part of the bargain, White said.
Gravity, or someone’s inadvertently bonking it, has tipped the U to a 45-degree angle, which White said is “kind of ugly” and “offensive to U fans everywhere.”
McAngus’ response was, “Well, why don’t you just tip it back to the right angle yourself?”
White maintains that shouldn’t be her responsibility.
Although McAngus brought the U into the office, because it’s in a public place, he denies responsibility. He said he shouldn’t have to clean the puke stains, coffee grinds or banana peels from the U, as they weren’t there when he put it up.
“He said that?” White said. “That little liar! That crap is from the garbage bin he pulled the stupid thing out of!”
In its current state, the U may not only be unsightly, but it’s a potential safety hazard as well.
A 1997 study of the campus found that any wall-displayed object had a 78 percent chance of falling should an earthquake or similar geological phenomenon strike the valley, which means trouble for more than just White.
The area immediately surrounding the U includes two computer terminals, a printer and a very handsome couch, which White donated to the office. The U is annoying to the people in its immediate vicinity, plus it’s a danger to them and anyone wanting to sit in the couch or use the printer.
“Well, nobody really uses the printer,” McAngus said. “Since it really sucks and nobody knows how to fix it. So how big of a deal could it be?”
McAngus suggested an office fund-raiser to pay for someone to take care of it part-time, but in times like these, such fund-raising efforts face an uphill battle.
With tensions high and tempers flaring, one of White’s and McAngus’ co workers has resigned herself to clean off the U and repaint it red. Shauna McFarland told The Comical she would clean up the U, right after she takes out the recycling bin.
Disclaimer: The Comical is pure satire and appears at the beginning of every week on The Chronicle’s Web site. Please take the stories as jokes and don’t call your lawyer. Thanks.