Activists have descended on the University of Utah in droves after a blatantly discriminatory tuition policy was reported in The Daily Utah Chronicle earlier this week.
Protesters from as far away as Alaska and Hawaii have been burning President Bernie Machen in effigy and demanding a removal of the policies or his immediate resignation.
“It’s bad enough people keep on winning tickets to anywhere in the continental United States, as if Alaska and Hawaii didn’t exist,” said Jonathan Waldern, president of the Alaskan chapter of People Against Prejudice (PAP).
“But this policy reaches new lows?my son was hoping to come here, but after hearing about this policy, the only way I’d let him even visit Utah was if he promised to burn someone in effigy or start a riot.”
Those from the continental states have also hit the U campus like a swarm of bloodthirsty locusts, showing how upset they are through incendiary rhetoric and campfires.
“This is by far, without a doubt, the most egregious violation of human rights, basic decency and everything that America should stand for that I’ve ever seen,” said Jody Smith, a lawyer with the American Civil Liberties Union from Michigan. “And I say that without any hyperbole or exaggeration.”
Other critics of the policy have taken more of a wait-and see strategy.
“Does this policy set off alarms?” said George Fredericks, noted host of Fightline, a daily late-night political debate show on Fox for which guests and audience members must sign waivers before each broadcast.
“Of course it does, but that doesn’t mean we should let a mob mentality rule the streets of Salt Lake City; we have to examine the policy based on its merits first.”
“Besides, if I had a dollar for every time Jody claimed a policy was the most egregious she had ever seen, I wouldn’t have to host a show that completely robs me of my dignity and the respect of my family,” Fredericks added.
State legislators are united in complete support of the U’s policy.
“The U’s tuition policy saves the state of Utah hundreds of thousands of dollars each year?money that would otherwise have to come from increased taxes,” state Sen. Jacob Snow Morley said.
“And if people from outside of Utah don’t like it, well, nobody invited them.”
Morley later amended his statement to read, “nobody invited them except the Olympic Organizing Committee and the Utah Travel Council.”
While key aspects of the policy are still secret, the big picture is clearly visible from documents available on the U’s Web site, www.utah.edu.
Apparently, for some time now people who aren’t from the state of Utah have been classified as “nonresidents” and required to pay tuition at a much higher rate than those who are “residents.”
For instance, “nonresident” tuition for juniors and seniors taking 12 credit hours would be $3699.70, while “resident” students with a similar course load and academic standing pay only $1052.30.
“This policy is clear proof that someone high up in the U’s administration has a bias against New Yorkers, Alaskans and people from all states except Utah,” Smith said. “Unfortunately, this loathsome individual has been given the power to hurt people who have done nothing wrong, unless you consider being born in another state a crime.”
“Instead of letting me define myself by who I am, this policy defines me by what I am not: a resident of Utah,” Waldern said.
U students who are “nonresident” have confirmed that the policy has had a significant impact on their lives.
“Nonresident tuition is way expensive, there is no way I could afford it if the U hadn’t given me a full-ride scholarship,” said Natalie, a “nonresident” from Texas who asked that her last name not be used for fear of reprisals.
“My tuition is definitely exorbitant,” said Jack, a “nonresident” from Colorado. “I only come here because the U’s nonresident tuition is comparable to what I would be paying at the University of Colorado in Boulder, and I can live at my grandmother’s house in Bountiful so I save money.”
U officials have made several attempts to explain the policy, attending public debates set up by activists, but have been drowned out by chanting and protest songs whenever they begin to speak.
In a recent phone interview, a major figure at the U, code named Bernie, defended the policy.
“All state-supported schools have similar tuition policies,” Bernie said. “Residents pay less because their tax dollars also go to support higher education; it’s not like the tuition paid by nonresident students subsidizes residents in any way.”
“High tuition simply reflects the true cost of higher education,” Bernie finished.
However, as activists remain reluctant to accept his explanation, it appears the U will be a campus under siege for some time to come.
“I would leave only if something more abusive came to light,” Smith said. “Like if, I don’t know, California required people who lived there to register their cars and use California license plates or something like that.”
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