“There’s a thin line between making yourself look stupid and having a good time.” Itzak Lefler, DDR fanatic
What if a person enjoys the sloppy pseudo-music blaring from the Dance Dance Revolution speakers?
I don’t, but the possibility of such a person, however dimwitted they must be, is certainly of legitimate concern.
And what is this person to do?
He or she could casually hang around the Dance Dance Revolution machine, taking in the mindless beats and inept tunes, but, at some point or another, one might mistake them for some sort of tasteless voyeur.
So where does the tasteless voyeur turn if he or she is not welcome in public?
To the computer, of course.
And, luckily for the tasteless voyeur, there are many Web sites out there for a person void of artistic taste.
Brit’s a Babe (www.geocities.com/thedevil_25/new06.html)
Speaking of bad music, the tasteless voyeur might want to stop by this unofficial Britney Spears site. While the music itself is less competent than the synthesized DDR beats, at least Britney herself offers more eye candy than the flashing arrows of a DDR machine.
Bad Music Central (www.geocities.com/SoHo/8692/)
For the true tasteless voyeur who is not embarrassed to admit a fetish is Bad Music Central. Here, not only will you find the “Bad Song of the Week,” but also some nifty holiday tunes based on Star Wars (e.g. “What do you get a wookie for Christmas?” and “C-3PO teaching R2-D2 how to sing.”) Unfortunately, the site has failed to record either Britney Spears or DDR rhythm amongst its history of bad music, but, hell, the Web isn’t perfect.
The Worst of the Worst (www.theworstoftheworst.com)
Much better is The Worst of the Worst Web site, which qualifies many popular songs with a torture factor ranging from one to ten. At last, someone else in the world realized the agony of listening to Gloria Gaynor’s phony feminist “I Will Survive”?even worse (or better for the tasteless voyeur) is Gaynor’s song as performed by seven year-old Sandy McClurg. Torture factor? Eight. And as soon as the site recognizes “Goodbye Earl” as the most tormenting audible experience ever, it will have achieved true perfection.
The Idiots (www.theloosescrew.com/idiots)
And, finally, last and definitely least is the oddly familiar Web site of “The Idiots.” The Idiots, themselves, claim their “music” is improvisational in nature and describe themselves as a “talentless band of rogue musicians whose only purpose is to spawn some of the most annoying music and worthless lyrics ever heard on the planet.” Of course, even the best of their worst (“With a Wizard” and “Oysters Don’t Play Drums”) is nowhere near as mind-numbing as “Goodbye Earl”?but then, The Idiots record all their songs on a home computer and, as Gloria Gaynor and Britney Spears have proven, it takes time, beauty, money and teen hysteria to truly annoy the planet.