The Olympic Flame went out yesterday and all of the blame rests on the shoulders of Billy Thompson.
Thompson is a six-year-old cancer survivor who spends his time helping the elderly. He recently won the Pulitzer Prize for his book “Cancer Sucks, But I Like Old People.”
“He has such a great story that we thought he would be perfect to carry the torch. We didn’t know he was clumsy,” said Janalee Jenkins, an Olympic official in charge of the torch relay.
On his 0.3 mile run through the forests of east Colorado, Thompson tripped over a rock and threw the torch into a nearby creek. The flame went out and with it the hopes and dreams of the entire world.
“We will not hold the Olympics without the flame,” SLOC President Mitt Romney said.
Initially, plans were to scrap the Games all together until a group of Olympians decided to save the day.
Tomorrow the torch will once again be lit by the power of the sun and the 13,500 mile run will start again. Thompson will not get a chance to redeem himself, however.
“The torch will be run by Michael Johnson, Maurice Green and Marion Jones,” Romney announced at SLOC headquarters.
The three track and field stars will take turns running the torch. While one is sprinting, the other two will take a rest in a motor home proudly donated by the Coca Cola company.
“Don’t worry. We will get the torch there on time. I can’t believe that stupid kid dropped it,” Jones said.
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