Math has never been Harry Albert’s strong suit. But that didn’t stop the sociology and hotel studies double major from solving a puzzle that has stumped mathematicians for decades.
On Friday morning, Albert divided by zero.
“Centuries of work, mountains of paper covered in equations, and it hasn’t been done until now,” said Horace Everett, a U professor of theoretical mathematics.
Disoriented after the long Olympic break, Albert became lost in the Cowles Building while searching for his yoga class. Tired from all the walking, he decided to find a chair.
“There were all sorts of empty seats in the next room I passed, so I went in and sat down,” Albert said.
In front of him, equations sprawled from one chalk board to the next. A professor demanded answers from the students who sank collectively down into their seats?everyone but Albert.
“It was so simple. All you had to do was divide by zero,” he said.
When Albert made his suggestion, the classroom fell even more quiet?so quiet that the sound of the professor’s chalk hitting the carpet echoed off the walls. But no one was more surprised than Albert himself.
“It’s amazing. I’m still trying to work off the I from my algebra course,” he said. “Wasn’t Einstein a bad student too?”
Albert is now considering dropping yoga in favor of the Partial Differential Equations class he interrupted.
However, other students and some professors in the department are far from pleased.
“Every textbook on the shelf will have to be re-written. Who knows what kind of implications this might have,” Everett said.
Students were a little more blunt.
“Just great. Does this mean I’ll have to re-learn math?” said sophomore Jessica Hill, a math student.
Disclaimer: The Comical is pure satire and appears at the beginning of every week on The Chronicle’s Web site. Please take the stories as jokes and don’t call your lawyer. Thanks.